Jason: I killed a lot and I mean a lot of animals on that island and I got really really good at it, so good that it became boring, so I started using them to help me kill people, that was pretty fun to watch… Hansel and Gretel a mountain lion into their camp, throw a rock at it and wait for the symphony of screaming and gun shots… So that’s how I got this one.

Friends: …

I believe it. Just like FarCry 2 is a fever dream from the malaria.

“Bro you don’t need to tell us about every tower you climbed.”

I think he was also on drugs just about the entire time. Who else likes hang gliding that much?