The larger danger is the erosion of kids’ privacy. People are so panicked about all the dangers out there, and there are so many monitoring tools available to parents and educators, that it’s no wonder that kids develop trust issues and/or are afraid to take up responsability.
I say this as a dad of two teenagers: the kids are allright. Love them, hug them, talk to them, show interest in their lives. Don’t use surveillance as a substitute.
At what child’s age do you personally feel comfortable removing the monitoring tool?
There are degrees of monitoring. This is basically my approach:
- no smartphone before 12yrs old
- no computer, tablet, smartphone or similar in their bedroom before 16yrs old, specifically at night.
- family link (android) installed, with tighter controls the younger they are. This is discussed and also explained as a measure to protect them
- if they are under 16, we create social media accounts together and discuss what is appropriate, what can/should be public/private etc.
That is basically it. A lot of it is being around, available and approachable. It’s not perfect, but it has several layers of protection, and is built around creating trust and teaching valuable media skills.
If I had to pick one, I’d say the ‘no internet devices in bedrooms’ would be the most valuable one. Because of that, I know what games my kids play, they can deconnect at night, and it’s fairly easy to enforce.
But, you see, if we aren’t clutching our pearls, there are no clicks. There. must. be. clicks!
I got so tired of the breathless moral panic regurgitated by my college students that I started pushing back hard. It teaches them to question and to be very careful about accurately reporting research. We’ve had some really good conversations as a result.
