And that’s why we always wear a condom.

“Fuck! There’s a snake in my boot!”

Was Yoda ever young?

Tbh Grogu already kinda got old man vibes

deleted by creator

Someone send them to J Jonah J

So, “there are circumstances in which merging in advance is acceptable.” Sure.

I think we’d be hard pressed to invent one where it’s superior without implying a failure in how the lane was closed.

In the US (where I am), zipper merging is mandatory in two states, recommend ten more, and allowed in all of them.

That’s the thing innit? The line should be spread across both lanes all the way up to the point where one closes.

The person who gets out into the closing lane to skip ahead probably isn’t thinking about it this much. They’re probably just an entitled asshole. But, in this case, they happen to be doing it right.

Everyone getting into the open lane early effectively closes the other lane early and pushes the congestion further back, disrupting other intersections.

Just tie them to the roof.

I guess it depends on where you are.

Let’s take the scenario where there are no other cars on the road, you’re in the lane that stays open driving next to a car in the closing lane, and you arrive at the merge point. In this case, you should keep going as normal, and the other guy should fall in behind you. (Ideally he slows down to fall out of sync before getting there. Less ideally he speeds up. Least ideally you both speed up and make chaos.)

If both lanes are fully used and there’s a line in both, same situation. First car in the open lane goes, then first car in the closed lane, then second car in the open lane, etc.

Now the controversial case where a bunch of well meaning souls have lined up preemptively (causing the congestion to press back further) and some asshole just takes the closing lane all the way to the end and winds up next to another car. That car should proceed and the car behind it should wait to let the asshole in before proceeding.

It feels wrong, but it’s the least problematic flow. Effectively closing the lane prematurely pushes the congestion back further and starts disrupting other intersections

Oh, well the teeth are the cars and the zipper is the merge point (lane closure)

Both lanes use all available space and take turns joining into a single lane at the merge point, minimizing congestion

There’s a strong organized crime presence

Clanton, AL for this vibe

They have a program that marches the homeless around the city on rotation to keep them out of sight.

There’s a disturbing degree of popular support and blissful ignorance

The cylinder must remain unharmed

Got it.

Checked the raw text the web app generated in your comment.

It adds a ! before the [ in normal markdown links

It inlines images automatically without that, so I thought it just wouldn’t inline GIFs, but it just needed a bit of a nudge

All of Mitch Hedberg’s jokes.

There was some study done by some ivy league school on the components of comedy and jokes that produced “the funniest joke,” which I do like.

Kyle and Clark are out hunting and get separated. Kyle sees a deer off in the distance and BOOM. It goes down.

Kyle’s excitement quickly turns to horror as he draws closer and realizes he’s shot Clark by mistake. Panicking, he calls 911.

“Hello, emergency.”

“YOUGOTTAHELPMEWEWEREOUTHUNTINGANDISHOTHIMHE’SDEADWHATDOIDOOHMYGODOHMYGODWHATDOIDOISHOTHIMHELPMEFUCKFUCK”

“Sir! Sir. Please calm down. First things first, I need you to make sure he’s actually dead.”

“Okay!” BOOM “Now what?”

😂🤣Absolute madlads.

This is my recurring joke at work, “Ran out of tokens? Just hit up a support agent on some web page.”

And these artists packaged it up.

I’ve bookmarked the comment before it disappears too far into my history.

One day, when my software company that doesn’t exist yet takes off, you’ll be my first hire.

(Don’t hold your breath. It’s a decades old dream.)

Oh you don’t need to duck. 15’ isn’t that low