I have an acquaintance that is having their life ended next month due to constant medical suffering and just had this morbid thought. Care Now could have a spinoff business called Death Now.
Wouldn’t work, they’d need appointments to keep up with incredible demand and scheduled maintenance for the ol corpse wiggler out back.
How about a spin-off called roulette now?
If you’re suicidal but also scared to die, you can go into roulette now.
They’ll put you into the pod and fill it with a gas and you will go to sleep.
Then a random number generator spins up a number.
If your number is called, the chamber fills with nitrogen and you never wake up again.
If not, nothing happens, eventually the sedative wears off and you wake up, having literally put your life into the hands of a random number generator.
Congratulations, you have survived your suicide. If you would like to keep surviving your suicide, here are some people you can talk to.
Imagine encouraging someone to do this, in hopes that a near-death experience would reenergize them and make them look at life more optimistically, but the RNG just offs them first round.
I’m waiting for the app that offers home delivery.
Your Killr has arrived