Say hypothetically I’ve already shot my shot and was shot down, how would I go about getting over this (without rebounding to other people or whatever)?
Edit: Thanks everyone, for all the comments, support, and advice! Majority rules a tie between time and distractions lol. Seriously though thanks y’all
I call my personal strategy the 3Ds: Distance, Distraction, and Description.
First, I distance myself from my crush. This includes exposure such as social media. I have, in the past, told my crush that I needed time to get over them before I can be in a place to interact with them again. The first time, I never really could and had to cut all contact. The second (and last) time it went well and we were able to continue our friendship for years until life distanced us. It’s all context-dependent, so you’ll have to decide for yourself if you still want to be friends. Otherwise, out of sight and out of mind.
Next, I distract myself. While I still spend time processing my emotions and disappointment, I make sure to do things I enjoy to take my mind off everything. I hang out with friends, play video games, read, watch movies, etc. If not, I will spend whatever idle time I have thinking about my crush, which can make it difficult to get over them.
Finally, description. This one sounds a little weird because I had to use a word to fit the 3D theme, but this one is all about processing. I write about my feelings or talk to my friends/a professional about it. Sometimes, I research other people’s experiences and reflect on how I relate. No matter the medium, I describe what I’m feeling or how I’m hurting. It releases some of that internal pressure I feel and sometimes gives me something I can analyze and understand about myself and my feelings.
Don’t know how much this helps you but everyone’s process is different. As long as you are exploring ways to move on and being mindful of what works and what doesn’t (for you), you’ll get there with time. Good luck and feel better soon my friend!
This is the most comprehensive strategy that I can vouch for.
Done all of them.
I would say, the last one is underrated but very much useful not just for getting over a crush but for personal growth in general, which is a lifetime skill.
You’d be surprised by how many adults don’t understand themselves or even avoid doing self-reflection. In consequences, stumble upon the same problem again and again without taking different/better approach to handle them.
Realize that the person who rejected you is the wrong person, since why would you want someone who doesn’t want you? You really dodged a bullet there!
That’s how I always thought it. Even if I did get with them, I’d be with someone that doesn’t want me. How miserable for both of us.
Then it’s time to go find someone like that person that does like me. Could be passing them every day and wouldn’t know if I’m still hung up on the impossible.
Time.
Do other things and in time you will be over it.
People say time and distractions and whatever else … but the only advice that ever really helped me was a line from some character on a TV show I don’t even remember:
“In my experience, to move on, you’ve actually got to move on.”
In other words… Go meet new people, get a new crush, find the greener pasture.
