Spooky season is officially upon us!

!BOO!<

  • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Took too many mushrooms one night and I have tripped a couple hundred times. But these were particularly strong bois and I started to believe I was having a heart attack, it was only a panic attack, but I seriously thought I was dying from a heart attack. I was begging my wife who had taken two times as many as I had to call 911. She did her best to stay calm and remind me that I was just tripping on mushrooms and I told her I knew that I was tripping on mushrooms but something was wrong with my heart because I was freaking out and I could tell my heart was beating too fast. At one point she even stuck a Fitbit on my wrist and told me to look at my heart rate, and when I looked at it of course I couldn’t read it because everything was just pixelated and swirling fractals. But somehow she was able to read it and said your heart rate is only 118 which I was able to confirm the next day from the data on my phone. I was crying and holding my chest and I kept throwing myself in a cold shower trying to calm myself down but time was all fucked up and moments were happening out of order and all I could think about was how my daughter was going to wake up in the morning without her father. I kept running through the house completely naked and freezing wet. Trying desperately to grasp onto something to send me back to reality. But everywhere I went it didn’t matter because I knew I was dying from a heart attack and my wife who I couldn’t believe at the time refuse to call 911 and save me. In retrospect, I’m so glad she did not lol. I haven’t taken mushroom since. I’m too scared. They are not to be fucked with if you’re not in the right state of mind. I really appreciate that trip though, it really made me appreciate life a whole lot more when I woke up the next day. I’ve never been more scared my entire life and I’m pretty sure I know exactly what it’s going to be like when I actually do die. It was somewhat peaceful but it was taking too long in the moment and especially because time was not flowing correctly and everything was happening out of order It made me really panic. It just seemed like it was taking way too long. I suppose when I actually die time won’t do that because presumably I won’t be tripping when it happens lol.

    • Ah, this one hits close to home. Except for my insane mushroom trip, I didn’t think I was dying. I had something in my head telling me to kill myself - over and over again. I’m not normally suicidal. I mean, I’ve certainly had thoughts during particularly dark moments of my life, but never to the point of seriously considering it, i.e. making plans. But shit, I cannot explain the pure, raw despair and hopelessness I felt for idk how long. I am 100% certain that if I had been tripping alone, I would have done it. Fortunately, I was with my 2 older brothers and my now-husband, and ultimately what kinda “brought me back” was one of my brothers having a meltdown of his own. Kinda put me in care taker mode, and helped me get out of the woods. I’ve taken mushrooms since, but I insist on microdosing and never being alone, and only with people i truly trust. I’m terrified of letting that part of my brain take over again.