• 6 Posts
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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • I think you did the right thing with the voicemail, leave it at that and move on. You can’t fix everyone. Surround yourself with people who are thoughtful and supportive, and be the same for them.

    I do think a lot of the people who swung right were not trying to hurt anyone, they were misinformed on purpose by targeted propaganda. But again - you are unlikely to be able to get through to them. I stop helping people when it becomes obvious that the help is not helpful. They may come around, they may not, but you cannot personally do anything to make that happen.

    And the nonsense about the world not being ready for a woman president is utter twaddle, there have been plenty of them, just not here. Fucking Margaret Thatcher was elected in 1979! Your aunt is off her rocker.



  • Well, my last name isn’t my mom’s last name, it’s my dad’s, and her last name was her dad’s, then her husband’s. So why do I care, I don’t get a matrilineal name anyway.

    I hyphenated, because we both had kids when we got married, and it made it easier to deal with the school stuff for my stepkids.

    Otherwise, I really just don’t care because my family name is my dad’s name and it was only my mom’s name because she changed hers to his. Not that I didn’t care about my dad, was closer to him than my mom. I just mean I don’t feel like it means anything.

    ETA: as the OP says, though - I really, truly don’t understand it when a lady has a cool last name and the man an awful one and they still use his. I used to work at a payroll place and saw this happen over and over, someone would be calling up for us to change their last name from, say, Valiant or DeLeon to Assing, or Fuckler or something . Really, why wouldn’t he be the one happy to change in that scenario?



  • For front splits: Very deep lunges to stretch hip flexors, hamstring stretches, then get as close as you can, preferably supporting your crotch (‘sit’ on a small stool, then a yoga block, whatever supports you in the position) so that you can relax into the pose.

    Best to do these after a workout while you are warm, then again before bed when you are cool, and go to your edge but not past it, that edge will move.

    For straddle split, I don’t know if everyone can get those but my nearly 60 year old husband can, and mostly he just lifts weights, so maybe. Those you can practice hot or cold, and if you do the widest you can and lean forward for 5 minutes it will also relax you for sleep. So good practice for bedtime.






  • I have never used margarine, even when it was marketed as healthier than butter, agree on natural fats.

    I’m old so have had some time to experiment. Fasting 36 hours each week dropped my bad cholesterol a staggering amount while moderately raising the one considered good, and I didn’t lose weight, but it decreased my quality of life because fasting is a migraine trigger for me.

    Gaining weight to closer to the middle of what’s considered healthy for my height has overall made me feel better, which pisses me off because I like the way I look skinny, so I think adequate nutrition is also healthy. Like, while you shouldn’t overeat, it’s also not great to undereat.

    I avoid ultra processed food except for an occasional diet coke, maybe once a month, and flour tortillas because I usually cannot be bothered to make them. Most of what we eat is homemade from ingredients.

    The thing I understand about nutrition is that there is a difference between a Therapeutic diet and an everyday nourishing diet. People do extreme diets and it fixes something so they then extrapolate to everyone else and think it’s a perfect diet, but when continued or used by someone who doesn’t need it, can cause problems itself.

    I try to eat a moderate, enjoyable everyday nourishing diet so I don’t end up needing a therapeutic diet!




  • Ha ha ha ha, no. We do have savings so at least some cushion but I took years off when my kids were born, got a late start in college, started a career later, I would say I got the time when I needed it I guess. But not likely to have enough to take time off paid work again at the end.

    Most people don’t get to decide, they get disabled or laid off & cannot find work and are forced into retirement. I’m in good shape and work in an office so probably can keep going as long as jobs last for me, and our life will be better if we keep working.


  • You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.

    What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.




  • I mean, you can’t just get fit and expect someone to come knocking on your door. If you are feeling good about your looks now, that’s an accomplishment you can be happy about, and should, but it doesn’t send out some secret signal that you are ready for a relationship. You have to talk to actual people. You can meet them out in the world or on an app, you can also tell any friends you have that you are looking to start dating, network. I think friends of friends and dating apps are the most usual ways of getting dates now. When I was young we just hung out in groups and some people always people ended up paired off, didn’t really date per se, but my kids don’t seem to do that as much.

    So basically - now you are happy about your physical shape, you still have to reach out to people, that is the next step.