As someone who suffers from migraines, allodynia, and chronic pain, wearing glasses all the time isn’t an option.

Guys be hating on zodiac signs while making their entire personalities about Myers-Briggs pseudoscientific bullshit.

Y’all Qaeda

Again, I never said to stop venting. I said to stop diminishing the value of unpaid labor.

Whether OP was referring to alimony or assets. It doesn’t matter. It’s the same general sentiment the vast majority of people have over divorce, which is that the party performing unpaid labor doesn’t deserve to be compensated.

To dismiss this is as a non-issue is incredibly invalidating to people who have suffered as a result of unpaid labor ruining their career and livelihoods. This rhetoric of divorcees who were not holding a job deserves nothing is exactly the stigma that spouses performing domestic labor is subjected to, and what encourages people to attack divorcees over.

Telling people that this isn’t a real problem is not only unhealthy, but actively perpetuates the stigma against domestic laborers are their perceived ‘lack of contribution’ to the economy when the truth is that world runs on the backs of unpaid labor.

This isn’t related to the article, but I wanted to pick at the ‘benefits of slavery’ question.

I think it’s important to acknowledge the ‘benefits’ of slavery, because it’s important to remember who it benefitted and at who’s expense. To claim that it benefits no one would be to deny the greed and callousness that spawned these human rights abuses.

Slavery in the past has brought massive advantages and benefits to many people today through the accumulation of intergenerational wealth, at the expense of minorities who are still systematically denied access to this wealth. To claim that these benefits don’t exist would be to diminish the scale of issues slavery has brought, and is still bringing, to modern day.

I didn’t tell them to stop venting. I’m telling them not to use phrasing such as ‘taking all MY hard earned money’ which implies that free spousal labor is not a meaningful contribution and dismisses the value of unpaid labor that billions of spouses, mostly women, contribute to the economy.

What’s toxic is how you use your claims of toxicity to dismiss the very real issues of men downplaying the importance of unpaid labor in marriages and divorce.

Venting isn’t an excuse for sexism. Please stop conflating healthy emotional expression with discriminatory language, and then claim toxicity when that gets called out.

I don’t know OP situation so I’ll reserve some judgment. However, I’m really tired of rhetoric about how alimony is always some evil scheme made to specifically destroy men in divorces.

When people get married, often times one of them gives up their job and start performing unpaid labor. Sometimes neither of them give up their jobs, and one of them still has the majority of household burdens forced onto them, affecting their career and performance.

Alimony is a form of compensation for the unpaid labor and it’s impact on that person’s career. More often than not, when people say ‘my ex wife is taking all my money’, what they are really saying is ‘I deserved free labor at the expense of my ex wife’.

Granted, it’s possible that OP could be a domestic abuse victim in which case alimony is a whole other form of fucked up. But if that’s not the case, then please stop.

Young people these days give me hope for the future.

I am the feminist movement. You are speaking it right now. This is the image of feminism. If you don’t like what you see, don’t shuffle around and just admit that you are an anti-feminist.

The feminist movement isn’t some men-hating caricature you see on Fox news. It’s normal people caring about those who suffer from the patriarchy, men and women alike. It’s people over at Men’s Liberation community. It’s donating to the local women’s shelter because over 90% of SA victims are female. It’s donating to men’s suicide prevention charities because over 80% of deaths are from men. It’s understanding that the men’s mental health crisis is a consequence of patriarchal structures. It’s understanding the pervasiveness of systemic oppression on women’s lives. It’s learning to empathize with the different but real struggles that the other genders face.

If you simply ‘don’t care anymore’ because you are concerned about image, that’s not good enough. You should care. And that starts with embracing the idea that feminism isn’t a dirty word, and it’s not defined by extremists. It’s 2023 and it’s what everybody should strive for ffs.

Christ can you not understand that most feminists fundamentally disagree with TERFs? I don’t know why you are so insistant to lump them with actual feminist. Maybe consider listening to feminists, like me, instead of perpetually mansplaining about what feminists are.

It’s not a ‘general perception’ that all feminists are TERFs. It’s what your perception and the perceptions of other anti-feminists. Hell most normal men, who are feminists with or without labels, don’t share your perception. You seem to have this warped perception that all feminists are out to get you and hate on men, when the reality is so far from the radicalized scheme that you think it is. People like you perceive the existance of feminism as an attack on you. It’s not. It’s not even about you, because you don’t seem to care about men’s issues either. It’s about everyone else who wants to lift men and women above the patriarchy.

This may come as a surprise to you, but people often deliberately mislabel themselves for credibility, or believe themselves to be something that they are not. For example, so called ‘leftists’ in the US are actually centrists and by international standards.

You are holding all women feminists accountable for the actions of a few self-proclaimed women feminists. That is not infantilization, that is pointing out the impossible standards that women are held to by anti-feminists and how some women will always be blamed for the actions of others.

Lemmy’s userbase is problematic because often times people don’t think about whether or not their experiences are relevant before speaking. Judging by your condemnation of feminists because of misandrists who claim to be one, you don’t seem to understand that feminism is fundamentally about equality and bringing men and women up to par with each other. This goes beyond just women’s rights. Feminism is just as much about making safe spaces for discussions about men’s mental health, male sexual assault victims, paternity leave, custody, and so much more. The reason why these things are not accessible to lots of men is the same reason why women aren’t being treated as people. It’s because of systemic patriarchal barriers that force men and women alike to conform to certain detrimental behaviors or be ostracized.

Leave it to Lemmy’s 77% male userbase to discredit the entire feminism movement because some self-proclaimed ‘feminists’ are misandrists and TERFs in sheep’s clothing.

Women are always held responsible for other people’s behaviors. Holding the vast majority of normal feminists who just want to be treated like people accountable for the actions of a crazy minority of men-hating folks is just another example of this.

Good for yourself and all, but just as a reminder that Christmas can be secular and anti-capitalist at the same time. You don’t need to exchange gifts, be religious, or have any beliefs or traditions about it.

It can just be an excuse to get together, cook, and have dinner. It doesn’t need to be elaborate either. Christmas for many people just means a time of the year you set aside to appreciate family, friends, and loved ones.