He’s making all these long-term plans for living here, while complaining that we’re living here, at this time where it is uncertain what’s going to happen; if we’re going to be allowed to stay here. I see how court goes in my favor; I see how it could go completely against me.
I don’t know what’s going on. He’s making me believe we’re going to make a business. He’s also making me realize how unwell he is through his actions. He’s happy, so he’s doing mindless activities. Is that what I am doing? I dunno. I can’t see myself to know what people think. Raspberry said “juggle,” followed by a anti-kumquat saying “don’t think,” followed by a kumquat saying “Go,” when I originally typed “God” to start this sentence.
I don’t know what’s happening or has happened or will happen. All I know is I have no clue what reality truly is. This is a useful state of being; for others, I mean. You can be put in this state of learned helplessness and directed and controlled as the narrative you believe is moulded over time. I was saying to him today how I have “agreed” to do things, and then I am compelled to do things based on something he has done through gaslighting me and getting me to “accept” what he has doing whilst holding me against my “agreements,” the same as what the cult did to me.
They REALLY want that story written. It’s hard to do long-form content with my brain. I don’t do amphetamines anymore. I wrote my book on amphetamines because I can sit still and remember massive stacks of information to do the complex narrative-telling one needs to do with my style where I speak and meander but it’s always new information. Now, I’m stuck remembering pockets of text and spilling those in concentrated form. I talk with myself a lot. These connections form. I built my empathy. It’s a skill, like free will.
It doesn’t matter what hell is coming; I can always be kind. I can rise above. I can be the best I can be. I can love. I can be kind and show compassion. I’m not perfect. They’re manipulating me, I know. I noticed I said something retarded in my last email. They set up the memeplexes in my head.
There was one time where I was walking to the register after walking all the way from Portland to Sandy in one night, and this man said “breasts,” and because he said that, my eyes snapped to the chest of the cashier right away, and she saw and she looked disgusted, and I noticed it’s because of what was in my short-term memory, and I learned something from that trip…that being the cops of another city knew my name and pronouns without asking that information of me.
No. God is a moniker given to the voice in one’s head to explain it to those without one. Read Gods, Voices and the Bicameral Mind by Julian Jaynes.
I have, a long time time ago. Long time since I thought of Jaynes. But you’re aware everything you experience is self-contained within your neurons, yea? And you’re experiencing these words, right? So, you’re not a featherless biped but a pocket of consciousness called a monad in a monadic nodal communication system.
Everything you experience are shadows on Plato’s cave wall. What is making these shadows is a topological matrix that acts as a monadic nodal communication system. The following is all that defines You which is all “you” are, plus everything you are dependent on:
If String A is entangled with String B but not String C, then AB is true and AC is false. Additionally, entanglements can möbiate, or defile themselves as the Buddhists say, and thus gives us nA, nB, nC as well as creating dualistic dichotomy (inner/outer) which manifests the illusion of being an individual self that is seperate from God and all other beings. Next, you can think how categories nest themselves, so a square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square, yet both are quadrilaterals and polygons. Further, there is “null,” which the Buddha called “emptiness,” and there is implicit and explicit null.
A mesh of entanglements defines the parameters from which your conscious experience manifests, and the process of entangling yourself by setting your intention in each moment is called Karma. In the fourth jhana of meditation, you can perceive for yourself the symbols that you are receiving and entangle yourself with.
And the Buddha said all this 2500 years ago, and many became enlightened, which is to perceive n undo the karmic fetters that bind you to the existence-illusion complex to thus disentangle yourself from your Karma to liberate yourself from dependent causation. Likewise, Jesus said the same thing, but the way we do things in the occident is that we engineered our culture to control those people who cannot think for themselves whilst simultaneously guiding those waking up to the matrix into the occult, which is a word that literally just means “hidden.”
See? Not an idiot.
I want to also say: YES I am an idiot. I got a double-edged sword of a brain. I can do the abstract thinking real goods and imaginate and hyperfocus but my EQ is in the negatives and my judgment is COMICALLY bad. I’m the type of person that gets taken advantage by a cult, and I have!
Ditto, on all on the above.
I don’t know what your comment means. My intuition tells me you have baited me in a skillful means to show to secret hidden person or peoples the full capacity of my dumb, and I am that capaplw ty fii wbat iu sed ho dopt thel rudination machine back into itself, like we spoke with Marlin Brando bak in the dat.
It means you’re thinking thoughts an idiot is incapable of thinking. Idiots lack introspection and the ability to ponder the abstract. You haven’t been baited or exposed.
I call myself an oblivious savant. I’m not quite rainman, but there’s something there. I use it to my advantage playing this authentic, autobiographical character to market my educational (f)art project. The occasional person sees something eyebrow-raising and they go digging. I’ve done this for twelve years on Reddit and a bit on Twitter. I’m also a juggler. Working up the courage to get back to doing this in person. I used to think I was a cop. That’s how the CIA got me to do my spiritual work.