One of my new friends is/was a cop. Just found out about it. I genuinely believe ACAB, and this news has me conflicted because my new friend seems really cool and super nice. I don’t know him super well yet, though. He’s a big part of this new friend group and I don’t know how to process this and how to deal with the fact he’s a cop.

I don’t want to look past the fact he’s a cop, but I want to stay his friend and stay in this friend group.

Any advice for dealing with this shit?

I can’t talk to my therapist about it until Thursday.

  • NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.comEnglish
    204·
    18 days ago

    This is one of many problems with “ACAB” because not every cop is one way or the other.

    Reality is that a functioning society needs police officers. It sounds like you hit it off with this person and they have some good qualities that you like.

    How do you expect the police to change if we don’t get involved? Getting rid of the police entirely is not a solution. But getting in and making changes from the inside is a valid way to make things better.

    Why are you wanting to create an echo chamber for yourself? Why don’t you expose yourself to others and other ideas that are different than yours? What’s the harm there? Are you scared you won’t be able to change his mind or that his ideas might make some sense to you?

    • hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world
      82·
      18 days ago

      This.

      I’m friends with a former Republican social media person. I don’t share his views and he’s knows that, but I can appreciate his views so that I can learn.

      Sometimes the most uncomfortable perspective can help you grasp some really complicated things.

      And also, you might not even know what their views on the police are.

      Just get to know them. Don’t adapt their views if you don’t subscribe to them, but listen to them and maybe you can take away some stuff here and there.

    • greedytacothief@lemmy.world
      32·
      18 days ago

      I have a couple of friends in law enforcement (NYPD & state Police). They tend to be best cops around, one of them is being sent to be a trainer so he can get some bigger promotions.

      You got to ask yourself and maybe them if they are a good person. All cops are bad because of what the system does to them. But who they are in spite of what that system is doing says more about who they are as a person.

      Chances are they’ll have edgy jokes, but you’ve been on the Internet long enough to end up here, so I’m sure you can navigate that.

      Remember conservatives hate liberal arts colleges because people who are exposed to diversity are more tolerant of it.

    • nl4real@lemmy.world
      14·
      18 days ago

      This is one of many problems with “ACAB” because not every cop is one way or the other.

      It’s a statement of what the job entails, whether the individual is a “moral” person off the clock is not relevant.

      Reality is that a functioning society needs police officers.

      Police are a relatively modern invention, have only been around ~200 years.