This feels like a completely biased view; if you were to ask my partner who is a secondary school teaching assistant/supports SEN kids, most of the children/teens being actual problems (and not just annoying someone who, by the sounds of it, doesn’t like children to begin with), are the ones born to parents who don’t give a fuck about encouraging creativety/individuality/imagination, either in combination with no discipline or overtly harsh discipline.
The ones that suffer harsh discipline are often as messed up as those who face absolutely no discipline, (ironically, often they overlap, many face absolutely no discipline most of the time to then have overtly harsh punishment when they push things too far), but make no mistake; the ones who face that early life are not the ones with parents who are encouraging them to be themselves, to use their imagination or to be individual. They are the ones that are forced to be independent because their parent is down the pub leaving them to sort tea for themselves, or the the ones whose home life is never stable with many different but no permanent parental figures.
Heck, I know a few people raised by hippies, even if they’re not hippiesh themselves, they still show a greater appreciation for nature/reading, are generally quite well rounded individuals.
The people I knew who faced overtly strict upbringings, either ended up not having the backbone/social skills to navigate life, or going off of the rails when given the opportunity.
The key, as always, is balance; encourage your child to develop a sense of self (and by extension self worth, self respect and self reliance) while also teaching them that they need to respect others with the same respect that they are shown; if they aren’t shown any respect then they’ll have none for other people.
Children are in a constant state of learning and developing; that’s why they are children; they are developing these skills as much as any other skill.
I’m a bit vague on the specifics, but a social worker friend of mine, who was involved in a particularly nasty case where both parents regularly beat their child: slaps, punches, belts, wooden spoons, whatever was near to hand. The story went that during the trial they would both repeatedly state they had done nothing wrong, that their parents had hit them and “it didn’t harm me” and showed no remorse or guilt in having repeatedly assaulted their kids. In the judge’s closing remarks addressing them both for sentencing (jail time, kids taken away in to care) the judge said something along the lines of
“You have both said multiple times that the abuse you suffered by your parents did you no damage. It did, it did so much damage that it has made you believe that it is OK to beat your own children.”
How many children do you interact with?
Heck, how many people do you interact with?
This feels like a completely biased view; if you were to ask my partner who is a secondary school teaching assistant/supports SEN kids, most of the children/teens being actual problems (and not just annoying someone who, by the sounds of it, doesn’t like children to begin with), are the ones born to parents who don’t give a fuck about encouraging creativety/individuality/imagination, either in combination with no discipline or overtly harsh discipline.
The ones that suffer harsh discipline are often as messed up as those who face absolutely no discipline, (ironically, often they overlap, many face absolutely no discipline most of the time to then have overtly harsh punishment when they push things too far), but make no mistake; the ones who face that early life are not the ones with parents who are encouraging them to be themselves, to use their imagination or to be individual. They are the ones that are forced to be independent because their parent is down the pub leaving them to sort tea for themselves, or the the ones whose home life is never stable with many different but no permanent parental figures.
Heck, I know a few people raised by hippies, even if they’re not hippiesh themselves, they still show a greater appreciation for nature/reading, are generally quite well rounded individuals.
The people I knew who faced overtly strict upbringings, either ended up not having the backbone/social skills to navigate life, or going off of the rails when given the opportunity.
The key, as always, is balance; encourage your child to develop a sense of self (and by extension self worth, self respect and self reliance) while also teaching them that they need to respect others with the same respect that they are shown; if they aren’t shown any respect then they’ll have none for other people.
Children are in a constant state of learning and developing; that’s why they are children; they are developing these skills as much as any other skill.
I’m a bit vague on the specifics, but a social worker friend of mine, who was involved in a particularly nasty case where both parents regularly beat their child: slaps, punches, belts, wooden spoons, whatever was near to hand. The story went that during the trial they would both repeatedly state they had done nothing wrong, that their parents had hit them and “it didn’t harm me” and showed no remorse or guilt in having repeatedly assaulted their kids. In the judge’s closing remarks addressing them both for sentencing (jail time, kids taken away in to care) the judge said something along the lines of
“You have both said multiple times that the abuse you suffered by your parents did you no damage. It did, it did so much damage that it has made you believe that it is OK to beat your own children.”