They’re dead serious and doing what they were paid to do.
They weren’t paid to protect you, they weren’t paid to make your life easier, they weren’t paid to represent you at all.
Represented with great honor in this new legislation is the humble American crow – the true reflection of our nation’s soul. For what is the bald eagle but a symbol of outdated pomp and a government that’s too busy patting itself on the back? The bald eagle, after all, has been perched atop its perch since 1782 – a symbol of a country that’s more concerned with conserving its own status than doing anything to actually improve itself.
Meanwhile, the American crow is out here living its best life. It’s always scheming, always scrounging for scraps in the garbage of society. It’s a bird of the people – and by people, I mean those of us who are still trying to make ends meet while the fat cats at the top continue to feast on the nation’s wealth.
It’s also a symbol of our nation’s laziness. The bald eagle may be proud of its slow, majestic flight, but we’re more proud of being able to do absolutely nothing for hours on end without any consequences. We’re a country that can’t even be bothered to show up to its own problems – and the American crow is the perfect representation of that.
Furthermore, have you seen the state of our national parks? A bunch of underfunded, neglected monstrosities that are more like a symbol of our own institutionalized apathy than anything we’d want to attract. It’s like the bald eagle is just trying to pretend we’re better than we are.
Meanwhile, the American crow is out here building its own infrastructure – a nest made of whatever it can scrounge up, with twigs and trash and other people’s detritus. That’s the American way – we don’t need no fancy-schmancy ‘bald eagle’ perched on some government-mandated pedestal; we’ve got our American crow, proudly wallowing in its own mediocrity.
So let’s be real, folks – the next time you see an American crow, that’s what we’re really looking at. That’s what we are as a country: lazy, corrupt, and proud of it.
Wasn’t the bald eagle already the US’s national bird?
Remember, this was a serious contender for president to the media, while they blacked out Bernie.
Snow woman
She’s still better than what we got with Biden.
She’s younger, a woman, and probably would have pushed for protecting abortion and maternity leave.
That specific example means jack shit with the even split senate and stacked SCOTUS, though.
Not to mention a whole bunch of other progressive positions that Biden doesn’t share.
You got downvoted, I got upvoted, despite us both saying the same idea. Lemmy just hates when someone lightly calls out Biden.
yass queen
Biden could protest this nothing bill by refusing to sign it or veto it.
Worst case, he leaves a bit of extra paperwork for Trump.Edit: some context
President has 10 days to sign or veto. If 10 days pass, the bill will become a law if Congress is in session. The bill will die if it is in recess.
Both parties are very serious…
…About keeping this economy and system exactly as it is, as they bicker over social wedges that don’t meaningfully impact quarterly earnings expectations.
They’re both paid well by the same oligarchs to do so.
If you wanted to see them scrambling to pass real legislation to protect the government from an incoming administration, you should have elected a leftist. You’d see Democrat and Republican reps holding hands, having sit ins, and desperately chanting we will overcome if an incoming administration was promising to dismantle for profit healthcare, for example.
Don’t worry though, they’d never let that happen. They have all the tools they need to prevent such a disaster as they see it. Their bribes would dry up overnight if they lost control of the narrative and their plebs.
The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.
The real national bird is the boneless chicken.
Aka the adult chicken nugget.
*May contain bones
* May contain less than 50% chicken
May contain chicken.
OOPS! ALL BONES!™
Also, the buffalo
Tyson sends their regards
I found the reason on Wikipedia
“The bald eagle is an opportunistic feeder.”
It’s the bird the US leadership most identifies with.
Was it not already?
Not technically no, we all apparently thought it was. Now it is official.
Not official yet. Got to wait for the system to do it’s thing and get the ol Joe handonhiscock on there to make it official.
Watch him veto it.
aaaaa fuck he should.
A message I can get behind “stop fucking around.”
turkey
Never had a national bird, according to this article. Thank God our infinitely wise and useful government got on that before they lost all their power to actually do anything meaningful or helpful. 🦅🇺🇸
It’s what Franklin wanted. And Franklin had humor and consistent set of morals. And got France to back us up by having sex with so many French women.
I think the Turkey would be better than a bird we have to ADR in the screech of another animal.
Turkeys: invasive, will absolutely move in and fuck up your shit
Bald Eagle: almost went extinct because it ran out of a particular type of tree.
Turkeys: will eat literally anything under the sun. Grass. Seeds. Other, smaller inferior turkeys. Car bumpers.
Bald eagles: almost went extinct because salmon was in short supply.
Turkeys: big, fat, aggressive birds with absolutely no fucks to give. The Always Sunny crew if they were all birds and not just D.
Bald Eagles: sleek, reclusive, and quiet. Literally sounds like a mouse.
It’s turkeys, it was always turkeys. It’s not even close.
It was hunting (considered pests) and DDT (pesticide that made the eggshells break too easily) that made eagles almost go extinct.
Shhhhhhhhhhh. Their inability to make up bullshit on the Internet also nearly caused their extinction.
Unlike turkeys which as we all know are the driving force behind generative AI platforms. Obviously
Chicken nuggets
Dee is my national bird.
What say you and I go toe to toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor?
i would, but my asshole is in a jar 50 miles away. are you willing to wait?
Actually the Senate passed this in July. It took until now for Congress to pass literally the easiest partisan bill probably because they were waiting to use it as their next shitty rider platform, or because they were too busy wasting time creating a new committee to investigate TikTok.
Bet there gong to spend millions to brag about a partisan feel good bill that will distract us from tasty CEO blood.
Investigating TikTok is money well spent, fuck the CCP.
TikTok is shady in how much info it collects and how tailored the feeds it shows people get.
It is not unique about either of those.
Facebook/Google/et. al. being on this coast instead of that coast doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have exactly the same scrutiny. Literally the only evidence offered that TikTok was in any way special was “we can’t tell you but there’s classified info that means we should ban it.” Which is less than encouraging that the ban is for anything other than because of ‘those dang kids’ being annoying.
TikTok
Is Run
By Dictatorship Military
It’s a weapon that wants to cause permanent irreversible harm to hundreds of millions of people, by design.
Agreed.
They’re also not materially different from Instagram or Youtube. Singling them out as “the problem” is short-sighted at best.
It’s not like if they didn’t pass this law they would have snuck in Medicare for all - I hate the “Is this a good use of your time” argument.
But it’s never a bad time to criticize how ineffective lawmakers are.
Anything other than this would’ve had an impact on people’s lives. They don’t need universal healthcare. They need something.
Your comment is a prime example of the nirvana fallacy.
Healthcare for
somenone, small American flags for others!But only if they’re made in China.
this session has been a dud from the start.
a split congress isn’t gonna get much of anything worthwhile done, especially not this late in a session… and extra-especially-not with the ultra hyper-partisanship exhibited by the ‘modern’ republicant party since at least the 1990s.
want something done? something awesome and good? help get democrats and progressives 75%+ of each chamber of congress, plus 38+ state legislatures.
Republicans get large chunks of what they want without a majority like that in Congress on a regular basis. If they can do it so could Democrats. They choose not to. There’s no shortage of convenient scapegoats but there is a massive shortage of meaningful action.
My dude, they couldn’t even repeal Obamacare.
Dems get blasted for not doing enough. Republicans get praise for just stopping things, half of which weren’t happening anyway
Thanks, Republicans for another decade without letting the Dems take our guns. Fuck the Dems for not passing some very basic gun control legislation.
I feel like you’re missing the very clear context that Republicans are hyper partisan who refuse to cross the isle. Earlier this year they voted down their own border security bill because Biden gave it the greenlight.
I’m very aware of the context. For my entire life Democrats have spent more time talking about building coalitions with racists or pointing at their token centrist progress blocker than they have doing anything useful. Say what you like about Republicans but they get their horrible shit done when they have the chance and they don’t give a fuck about decorum or tradition and their voters love them for it.
I think you’re cool and a really good person.
They don’t need universal healthcare.
Glad to see the needs of the people are being taken seriously as usual.
The 118th Session? Yeah, we don’t even have a parallel in all of the history of the US to mark how unproductive this session has been. Like not even during the Civil War was Congress this underwhelming. The 118th Session has set a new low water mark for “things gotten done”.
The biggest issue was that the House spent something like ~60% of their time in Committee doing “investigations” that ultimately led nowhere. Like, I’ll throw Congress a bone here, if they actually impeached someone with all those investigations, I’d give it to them. But that literally nobody was impeached all those investigations basically go into the “wasted time” column.
And they can’t impeach any of them come the 119th session because… New President, new people. So all that time they invested goes to waste. Hell, even Hunter I can’t give it to them, because in the end, he got a pardon. And as soon as Trump gives the J6 folks a pardon, all that work the Democrats did becomes wasted as well.
But the 118th spent the vast majority of their time in investigations, so they got so little actually done and passed.
It’s not like if they didn’t pass this law they would have snuck in Medicare for all
I might have been at least somewhat mollified of “Natural Bird” meant “New environmental focus on protecting the species” rather than “National Meme”. Might as well make America’s national bird the Dodo, given the rate at which we’re decimating their ecology.
The bald eagle is well protected as a species. Federal charges for killing one. Course that may change under Trump.
They could get a vote on the record where Republicans voted against healthcare. We got this bird thing though, so that’s neat.
This is so true. Can you walk and chew gum at the same time? Listen to a podcast while driving? Even our US Representatives can focus on more than one thing at a time…
Ok sure, but what’s one other thing they’re focused on that actually helps regular Americans? Biden is pardoning his family members, Pelosi is grinding the gears of progress to a halt with her withered corpse, most of the rest of the DNC are wringing their hands about the past or apparently daydreaming about birds, who knows what the fuck Kamala is up to, and Republicans are gearing up to put a bunch of sexual predators in charge of various government agencies.
Ukraine seems to be getting some money so that’s nice I guess. Is there something useful to the American people that I’m missing?
Ok sure, but what’s one other thing they’re focused on that actually helps regular Americans?
probably like 20 odd pieces of legislation, probably more, sitting around.
I’d probably love to see specifics, probably.
They could have tried to do anything actually beneficial for Americans instead though. Like, think about how many hours of work it took Klobuchar’s political peons just to draft the stupid thing. And, they we paid them to do it!! Get fucked Congress.
Ah yes, really focusing on the important shit here. I can see why the US is doing so well.
It is time to dissolve the United States. Once a nation reaches this level of corruption and political dysfunction, it cannot be repaired. Even the nominally liberal party is so utterly corrupted by money that it can no longer keep things from further degrading, let alone actually fix things. We are at our “dissolution of the Soviet Union” moment.
The national government needs to be dissolved in its entirety. Each state needs to be granted full independence. Then individual states can come back together and form whatever new federations or confederations they want.
This nation can no longer be salvaged. It is broken beyond all repair. It’s time we put it out of its misery. The alternative is we limp along as a parody of our former self, like the Roman Empire pretending to still be a Republic.
The United States is already dead. We’re just too afraid to admit it.
Buddy. We are nowhere near where we used to be. We used to call out the soldiers to shoot at striking workers. We used to grow out our hair so we could get paid for voting 3 or 4 times. (Get a shave, get a haircut, lose the mustache and the rest of the hair.) It used to be impossible to convict anyone of killing a black man.
We aren’t anywhere near as bad as things have been in the past.
And the Soviet Union at its collapse wasn’t as bad as the nadirs or tsarist Russia. Just because things were worse 150 years ago doesn’t matter. The problem is the system is now intractably broken and further progress cannot be made.
It’s broken for 4 years at least, sure… But it’s not beyond hope. Did you see share that Luigi guy did the other day? That dude was American, and he’s broken far less laws than our next president.
Our history shows progress can be made because we did it before.
The President has never been above the law in reality. Nixon thought he was, Reagan got away with shit, but they always had the law to obey or face punishments. Trump doesn’t need to worry about anything other than his health or a 3rd shooter.
What do you propose happens to the nuclear weapons? Or the treasures in the Smithsonian? Or the gold in Fort Knox? Or the federal currency that each of these states economies relies on?
The US simply cannot be undone.
Nominally give each new state a proportional share of the weapons. In reality, the states will quickly come back together into one or a handful of new countries. Nuclear weapons are incredibly expensive to maintain. A newly independent North Dakota will not be able to maintain the weapons that are assigned to it. They’ll quickly trade them as bargaining chips in negotiations with some larger state.
It’s important to consider the alternative to dissolution. We are no longer capable of solving real problems. The currency and economy are already doomed, as we’re not going to be able to put our fiscal house in order before the debt collapses everything.
A major economic upheaval is already locked in, assured by our irreparable political system. Better to just admit it now and dissolve the country peacefully. The alternative is we have a series of bloody and ruinous civil wars as states try to break away one by one from the dying empire.
They’ll quickly trade them as bargaining chips in negotiations with some larger state.
Full stop. If part of your solution is selling nuclear weapons to whoever pays the most to cover your bills your plan is already shit.
That’s literally what happened at the dissolution of the Soviet Union. This has been done before.
Which went really well! No complaints! No weapons went missing at all!
Well, we haven’t had any exploded nukes yet, and any lost have expired by now. So I think it went down pretty well actually.
damn we’re edge posting today
Not saying I disagree, but the premise is untenable.
The problem is that the second the federal government fully collapses and states are left on their own, a majority of them will become captured by megacorporations or China. Red states like Mississippi just fail to function on their own, they would require an entity with seriously sizable funding to subsidize them, and the number of entities that can fit that bill is pretty small. Even if these red states band together…they’re the worst states. 5 of them together doesn’t equal the income brought in by places like California or New York, who would perhaps instead enjoy a large surplus of state funding they could make use of and maintain individuality in the face of a corporate dystopia.
They would still be among the wealthier countries on the planet. Mississippi is wealthier than the UK outside of London. They’ll manage just fine. As far as corporate corruption, well they can be responsible for their own sins.
Have you heard what they sound like? It isn’t what’s usually depicted in videos.
Colbert Report wouldn’t have lied to us!
They sound like freedom! 🇺🇸🎇🧨🐦🔥
Many times it’s a hawk, similar to how most coyotes in film and TV make wolf howls. Which is crazy because coyotes chattering is much scarier.
maybe I’m out of the loop, but when did people start using “unserious”?
All I can say is… I’m glad it’s not the next president who signs it into law.
Actually no I really kinda wish it was so I can get more of him trying desperately to act like he isn’t terrified of the eagle brought in for a photo shoot. That shit was priceless
Yea he would switch it to the Chicken Mcnugget
