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Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 3 months ago

I'm tired boss

slrpnk.net

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I'm tired boss

slrpnk.net

Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 3 months ago
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  • fireweed@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Me trying to raise kids

    Well there’s your first problem

    • defunct_punk@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Also “trying to excel in my work.” Put in the same effort that your boss compensates you for.

      • remer@lemmy.worldBanned
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        3 months ago

        The trick of to have a net worth of at least $10M. It’s easy after that

    • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I can’t exactly cut the baby in half and jam it back into my fucking urethra.

      • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Not with that attitude…

        • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Not with any attitude!

          *harrumph*

      • NightoftheLemmy@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        Aren’t babies supposed to come out of uterus?

        • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Do I look like a woman?

          • L3ft_F13ld!@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            3 months ago

            Do you?

      • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        Yeah, but now it’s past the point when republicans care about it, so you can at least try without too much issue.

  • Delphia@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    The secret is to give up on having time for yourself and find the zen in the things you have to do anyway.

    You ever wonder why dads tend to become all about their yard, their bbq and DIY? Because if I have to mow the fucking lawn, feed my family and fix shit all the fucking time I might as well find the satisfaction in a job well done.

  • palebluethought@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I know this is the least important one on there, but I don’t get this thing lately where people talk about “staying hydrated” like it’s some big challenge they have to put effort towards. Like… get thirsty, drink water?

    • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 months ago

      Look at this person, with their ability to tell what their body needs or when they’re thirsty.

    • noyou@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      The trick is that you need to drink more than just “im thirsty”

  • Catman@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    I solved it by not having kids, seriously best thing I done in my life so far.

    • abbadon420@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

    • Ceruleum@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      So far!

  • Grassgrowz@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    instead of trying to excel at work, just libreoffice calc instead! badum ts

    • Serpent@feddit.uk
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      3 months ago

      Tbf, I was confused by the wording and your joke clarified it for me.

      • lugal@sopuli.xyz
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        3 months ago

        Same. Honestly I wasn’t even confused. I use a lot of excel at work, I just assumed it’s a verb now

  • peaceful_world_view@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    That’s exactly where “they” want you. Too tired to lop off heads.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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      3 months ago

      When your scare quote “they” it makes you sound like you mean Jews.

      It’s Lemmy. Just say billionaires.

  • DUMBASS@leminal.space
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    3 months ago

    I have failed the last one, going to go get some personal time off from work today, then maybe I can finally get some sleep.

    Edit: got it, now I can rest, well shitpost on Lemmy as therapy.

  • sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Btw, this look would be after I put time into my makeup and hair.

  • LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Replace kids with pets and add handling multiple chronic illnesses and it’s my life.

  • S3verin@slrpnk.net
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    3 months ago

    I do at least one of them. Guess which.

    • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Staying hydrated

  • moistclump@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I’m only trying to do two of these things and I still look like that.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    psst…cohabitation

  • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    “excel in my work” would be using a spreadsheet. “accel in my work” would be improving your skills/effort.

    edit: corrected. I was wrong.

    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      “accel in my work”

      work faster not smarter?

    • CHOPSTEEQ@lemmy.ml
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      3 months ago

      That’s incorrect.

      • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        You’re right. I corrected my post.

    • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I excel in my work

    • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 months ago

      Good on you for acceling in knowing when you’re wrong, and quickly!

      • Siegfried@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Accel is perfectly cromulent

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