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Do you have hobbies and interests? If so, hop on Google and search for MeetUps in your areas. When you find one, go to it and do that activity with other people. This is a practically fail proof plan because it sets you up to do something that you like doing with other people that also like that thing… which gives you a built in conversation topic.
While you’re there, talk to everyone for a few minutes. Next time there’s a meet up, go back. Don’t put pressure on any one person but, after you’ve been a few times, you’ll recognize and enjoy the company of other regulars and, voila, friends.
There is another thing I want to mention is like how do people find dates? I don’t wanna sound like I’m whining or anything but dating apps never worked for me so I was wondering like how do you meet your potential dates in-person like at bars? Sorry if it sounds dumb but I’ve had a hard time with that so I thought why don’t I would just genuinely ask about it?
how do people find dates
Two main ways. My brother is very likable. To the point that it’s almost silly. Dude is 6 ft 3, maybe 300 lbs. He looks like an offensive lineman. He’s probably the strongest, roundest, happiest guy I know. When he was single he never had a problem getting quality dates. Even at his size. But it wasn’t just the charisma. Dude would shoot his shot and, if that didn’t work, he’d shoot his shoot again with the next lady. If you can talk a good game, don’t care if you miss and, ideally, be attractive, then you can slay it at the bars.
I am not as likable as my brother. But I’m funny. I’m decent looking. I treat ladies right. I have hobbies and interests. When I was single, my dates always came from my activity groups. Does it turn out Jenny from run club really likes music? Invite her to a show. And, here’s the key. Only invite people to things you’re going to do anyway. The line is “I’m going to the show this weekend, wanna come with me?” No matter what Jenny says, go to the show. Talk to the people that are there. Have a great time. If you have a great time with Jenny, terrific! If you don’t, or if Jenny doesn’t come, invite someone else next time. Common interests and quality time can take you a long way. Even if it’s a longer game than my brothers.
You have to be ok with believing that you’re not annoying others when talking about yourself and asking about them. And you have to do it in a not-creepy way. I haven’t quite figured it out yet.
The creeper paradox: the harder you try not to be, the more you appear to be.
Redefine creepy as ‘surpressing emotions’. When you surpress the awareness of surpressing emotions, then you surpress even more, so you appear to be more creepy.
