going to play basketball with your friends (if you’re a boy, with high probability most of these other little treatlers are also boys) and bullshitting with eachother to see who can verbalize the edgiest insult in the group is not exactly touching grass, but I think is common enough that similar experiences could explain the difference
the belief that people of different sexes couldn’t be friends without someone wanting sex (regardless of reciprocation) was pervasive when I was a young person and I expect people have only grown more attached to the illusion as time proceeds, so (at least in amerikkka) there’s also this social pressure to congregate with people of the same sex when “hanging out with friends”, which probably amplifies the effect
the belief that people of different sexes couldn’t be friends without someone wanting sex (regardless of reciprocation) was pervasive when I was a young person and I expect people have only grown more attached to the illusion as time proceeds, so (at least in amerikkka) there’s also this social pressure to congregate with people of the same sex when “hanging out with friends”, which probably amplifies the effect
I am from europe and gen z and this was the case when I was young too. Hell even nowdays some people still believe that. I was called gay for simplying having female friends (I mean I am, but still a 10-year old doesnt really know that yet).
Why can’t they just consciously recognize “I find them attractive and I totally would if they were up for it, but they aren’t, and that’s okay” and then let it go?
Because then their friends call them f-slurs and tell everyone they’re gay for not wanting to have wild sex with every attractive girl/woman they come across.
Also self-defeating because if you never hang out with the opposite gender unless you’re trying to go for sexytime, you’re going to be bad at it. You need the low stakes experience first.
going to play basketball with your
friends (if you’re a boy, with high probability most of these other little treatlers are also boys) and bullshitting with eachother to see who can verbalize the edgiest insult in the group is not exactly touching grass, but I think is common enough that similar experiences could explain the difference
the belief that people of different sexes couldn’t be friends without someone wanting sex (regardless of reciprocation) was pervasive when I was a young person and I expect people have only grown more attached to the illusion as time proceeds, so (at least in amerikkka) there’s also this social pressure to congregate with people of the same sex when “hanging out with friends”, which probably amplifies the effect
I am from europe and gen z and this was the case when I was young too. Hell even nowdays some people still believe that. I was called gay for simplying having female friends (I mean I am, but still a 10-year old doesnt really know that yet).
this shit is so lame
Why can’t they just consciously recognize “I find them attractive and I totally would if they were up for it, but they aren’t, and that’s okay” and then let it go?
Or even just “this person is attractive but I’m not interested in changing our relationship”
Because then their friends call them f-slurs and tell everyone they’re gay for not wanting to have wild sex with every attractive girl/woman they come across.
that phrase is equivalent to “wanting sex”, it’s just the healthy expression of it because of all the extra words.
I doubt most incels make it to the actual rejection part.
Also self-defeating because if you never hang out with the opposite gender unless you’re trying to go for sexytime, you’re going to be bad at it. You need the low stakes experience first.