I’m gay. I’m agender, and I like enbies better than men and women.
The other day in an argument I got frustrated with someone and told them to call me a homophobic slur. One part sarcasm, one part hoping they’d actually do it and get in trouble. Instead, I got punished for using the word. I wasn’t expecting that, because I’m gay. If I call myself a f-----, I didn’t think that was anyone else’s problem.
Was I right? Is it okay for me to use that word, talking about myself?
Sure, it’s “ok” in that I don’t think you should go to jail for it.
But you need to be “ok” with the consequences. Like how many people would be turned off by your language and would not want to associate with you. Who would judge you as a high-drama person to avoid (this is where I am personally, given your description of using a slur to try to bait someone into trouble). And people like school administrators who would remove you for breaking their specific rules on speech (or mods on a forum). And the employer who would fire you for using what is generally seen as unprofessional language.