I was assigned male at birth but have increasingly started to notice over the years that other guys don’t have a big notch on either side of their torsos like I do. It’s my pelvic bone. I would go to a doctor to see what they had to say but they’ve seen me plenty of times and said absolutely nothing about being intersex and now I live in a rural conservative area and they don’t seem to diagnose the same way in hardly anything that is a conservative third rail. I just seem to have a really wide pelvis just like a female. Everything else seems male. I am a very normal weight so it’s not fat tissue - its clearly bone. I just feel gaslit over it and have been trying to gauge perceptions people have of me in my life in order to get on with things. I hate to turn to the internet but this is driving me crazy. I need something to work with, somewhere to start.
1 or 2 in 1000 people are xxy
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter_syndrome
But even if you’re XY, hormones aren’t binary, you might just have a lot of estrogen, or it could be something that isn’t related at all to gender or hormones.
There’s a shit ton of human variation
This. There is a lot of variation in normal. We all don’t look exactly the same
Something to keep in mind when dumbass say “there is only two genders”.
Oddities in your bones don’t really mean much. I have a 13th pair of ribs, “people” are only supposed to have 12, but there’s a lot of variability floating around.
I sort of knew but didn’t properly understand this is my early 20s. I always thought that transitioning would be easy and I put it off, since I had a fairy femme figure… Of course then I hit 25 and out of nowhere seemingly my whole torso changed shape. Really surprisingly suddenly!
I think you might want to give these a read:
https://psmag.com/social-justice/our-bones-reveal-sex-is-not-binary
https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/01/13/pelvic-bone-unreliable-in-identifying-gender/
This isn’t to dismiss your concerns, but instead to let you know that your pelvis being one way or another, on its own, probably isn’t an indication of anything at all.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consult a doctor to see if they can help you confirm or dispel your worries since this is clearly bothering you, but most importantly, remember - whatever the outcome, there’s nothing “wrong” with you.
What you are is a guy with a wide pelvis.
Is it likely? No. Is it possible? Yes.
It’s worth getting checked out at some point though, because some intersex conditions can impact fertility
Biology isn’t binary. I would stop looking for labels and just be you.
Biology isn’t binary.
correct
I would stop looking for labels
why, when a label can not only confirm to the person themselves all of the feelings and doubts they may have been having, but also finds them a supportive community of people like them they can relate to and share experiences with?
and just be you.
correct, but can only happen by knowing who you are first, aka finding the correct label/s for yourself.
💯 💯 💯 💯 💯
Finding a label and understanding yourself after a lifetime of confusion and self hatred for not being normal is immensely satisfying.
Sure, in an essentialism way we all transcend labels since an individual is so much more, but we live in a language based society. Having a label is the best way to communicate to another human “This is my experience”.
This is the correct answer.
I would stop looking for labels and just be you.
I wish I could tattoo this on the retinas of every Gen Z kid so they’d be forced to see it literally all the time.
And I wish I could convey to people like you what an absolute privilege it is to not feel the need to label yourself because society already not only recognises and accepts you as the default, but caters to you as such.
Those of us not so lucky like to find our people, those who can understand us and what we’ve been through, those we can relate to who can relate to us, and act as the community society never was for us (your comment being a perfect demonstration of the massive blind spot so many people have to the struggles of marginalise people).
Check your privilege instead of expecting those who don’t have it to be as comfortable as you are (which literally requires you to just not give your uninformed opinions of people whose experience you clearly know nothing about and the actions we take to feel less excluded).
Do you really care about people who will only accept you if you only have a label? I think gen Z cares to much about finding “your people”. You know who your people are? People who accept you because you are you, not because you’re a X, Y, or Z.
Why would you give a damn about the opinion of someone who only accepts you because you label yourself as whatever? That’s a shitty person.
Edit: actually, thinking a bit more about this, that could be pretty lonely depending on your circumstances, because most people are absolute shitbags. So I can understand the appeal of being able to say “I IDENTIFY AS FKLDS;AME” and finding a ready-made community of FKLDS;AME to act as a societal support, since the cishet society you happen to be born into hates anyone who isn’t cishet.
Still far from ideal.
I think my privilege is not so much my own cishet identity but simply a geographic one: no one here gives a damn what you identify as, all are equally valid. You don’t need to find a new community of FKLDS;AME people or FKLDS;AME allies. Everyone is just groovy about whatever. Less pressure to label.
just not give your uninformed opinions
Someone forgot what community they’re in
Checking
Edit: yep it’s still there
There is plenty of overlap in body types between men and women.
If you are thin, you may just be more aware of the bones. Unless you start putting on fat in a more female pattern I wouldn’t even consider intersex a possibility, much less a probability. But it’s YOUR body, and your worry, talk to your doctor.
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Other comments aside, humans have at least 4 different kinds of pelvis shapes (Caldwell–Moloy classification). If you decide to look further into the research, we actually have no idea which pelvises are most common for any sex. Any research done has largely been “which best for woman give birth” and that’s it.
We have no data to give a proper average of what should be expected for those assigned male at birth. We have no data for those who are intersex either but worse because even many modern practices do their best to hide everything.
No idea where you live, but to give you a start:
https://isna.org/
http://www.ukia.co.uk/Best luck to you finding your answers.
Do you mean your iliac furrows, also known as an “Adonis Belt”? Some people work hard for years to define them with workouts.
I prefer “cum gutters”, makes the heteros upseteros
People come in many shapes and sizes and your bones are still configuring themselves if you’re under 25. I wouldn’t concern yourself with stuff like this.
Although I’ve heard thoughts like these are connected with transgender stuff if that’s on your radar.
I am pretty skinny, my pelvis protrudes in the way you describe but I wouldn’t considered this a sign of intersex
I have webbed toes. Doesn’t mean anything it’s just the way you’re built.
We humans are fortunately all shapes and sizes.
No.
