During the Mexican-American War the US secretly bribed Alaska to sneak up behind Mexico and eat Mexico in one big gulp.
Then the US put Alaska in a box to quarantine it because it started to get sick. This is what you see illustrated on many maps because it was historically a very important moment to US geography.
Eventually Alaska got too nauseous, threw Mexico back up and crawled back on top of Canada.
What a lot of people don’t realize though is what made Alaska so sick wasn’t Mexico, it was that Alaska mistook Texas for part of Mexico and took both Mexico and Texas in one bite, and it was only the extreme toxicity of Texas that made Alaska so queasy.
Ultimately the plan of course backfired, Mexico was fine chilling inside Alaska (Alaskans and Mexicans had even taken to calling it “Mexicalaska”) and this upset the rest of the US and caused riots all over the country for weeks… and unfortunately for architects of the Alaska Ambush, Alaska was not big enough to dilute the corrosive bigotry of Texas in order for Alaska to keep it down permanently.
During the Mexican-American War the US secretly bribed Alaska to sneak up behind Mexico and eat Mexico in one big gulp.
Then the US put Alaska in a box to quarantine it because it started to get sick. This is what you see illustrated on many maps because it was historically a very important moment to US geography.
Eventually Alaska got too nauseous, threw Mexico back up and crawled back on top of Canada.
What a lot of people don’t realize though is what made Alaska so sick wasn’t Mexico, it was that Alaska mistook Texas for part of Mexico and took both Mexico and Texas in one bite, and it was only the extreme toxicity of Texas that made Alaska so queasy.
Ultimately the plan of course backfired, Mexico was fine chilling inside Alaska (Alaskans and Mexicans had even taken to calling it “Mexicalaska”) and this upset the rest of the US and caused riots all over the country for weeks… and unfortunately for architects of the Alaska Ambush, Alaska was not big enough to dilute the corrosive bigotry of Texas in order for Alaska to keep it down permanently.
Bravo, I love this kind of ‘analogy taken too far’ creative writing =D