Like games on the playground: My sword is super strong! Well mine is stronger! My sword gets twice as strong as the strongest sword near it! Mine gets three times as strong as the strongest sword near it! Well since my sword keeps getting stronger than yours, its power becomes infinite! Well mine becomes infinite first!

But with tragedies.

I broke my toe while my life partner passed away! Well I broke my toe and my arm while mine died, and they never healed right! Losers, I dealt with all of that and tapeworms all at once! Well, my loved one had dementia, lost all memories of their loved ones, and I got a paper cut!

Feel like there’s some ripe ground there for a comedy sketch, or a Cyanide and Happiness Depression Week strip.