• Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org
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    3 days ago

    Maybe you and I are having different conversations then. I’ve never experienced it being taken this way.

    • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      I’ve never experienced it being taken this way

      But you have, that’s what the entire discussion is about.

      • Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org
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        3 days ago

        No, it’s about the misunderstanding that it might be meant this way. I don’t think most commenters here are actually homophobic.

        But look, obviously I can’t know for sure how other people mean it when they say it, but I can when I’m the one talking.

        I’m bisexual. Bisexuality is a normal and beautiful part of the spectrum of human sexuality, and anyone who has something against it is a certified moron.

        I personally think that many homophobic people are bisexual (or gay) and in horrible, hateful denial.

        I don’t think their queerness is to blame, but specifically their harmful behavior. I don’t think their queerness is the reason either, but nothing but good old sexism and heteronormativity. I still think that their queerness is part of an explanation, since it leads them to this horrible internal misunderstanding that sexuality is a choice. I don’t think all homophobes are queer, obviously some are straight, but I think it’s a significant portion of the most spiteful and publicly active ones. And again, them being (allegedly) queer is not what’s problematic about them in the slightest. It’s their homophobic behaviour.

        I’ve yet to see an example of someone who actually blames homosexuality or the queer community for homophobia in this argument, just people claiming that this is what’s somehow happening.

        • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I don’t think most commenters here are actually homophobic.

          But they’re doing homophobia, trying to use the hate of a bigot against them is still using hate.

          I don’t think their queerness is to blame, but specifically their harmful behavior

          Which is why that should be called out, instead of a puerile “lol u gay” that misses the mark on every plain bigot.

          I’ve yet to see an example of someone who actually blames homosexuality or the queer community for homophobia in this argument, just people claiming that this is what’s somehow happening.

          That’s what the entire argument supports, calling every homophobe a queer in denial is literally placing the blame of bigotry on the targets of hate, all while providing a convenient smokescreen for every genuinely straight homophobe.

          Focusing on the whatever% of bigots in denial is a red herring because it excludes all those not in denial and places the blame on gay people, along with being homophobic because a bigot being gay or not has zero impact on if their bigotry is acceptable.

          • Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org
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            2 days ago

            calling every homophobe a queer in denial is literally placing the blame of bigotry on the targets of hate

            You do realize that queer people aren’t one homogeneous blob of people, but a bunch of individuals? Obviously I’m not blaming myself, and neither am I blaming other bi and gay people for homophobia. I’m blaming the initiators of bigotry (the homophobes, queer or not) and their behavior (homophobia and bigotry) against their victims (the “targets of hate”, aka other queer people) - different human beings, mind you.

            all while providing a convenient smokescreen for every genuinely straight homophobe

            But how? What kind of smokescreen? I’m still calling out homophobes. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if they’re queer or not - it’s not like straight homophobes get a pass. The problematic thing about homophobia is still just their behavior, not their sexuality. You act like straight homophobes somehow profit from the belief that a significant portion of homophobes are bi- or homosexual, but if anything it would annoy them, which is always good in my book.

            Please show me how this opinion actually harms queer people or benefits homophobes in any way and I swear I will change my mind. After all, I personally should be affected by this.