I had so much trouble with this as a kid.
“Why did you poke a hole in my Styrofoam cup and let the drink leak all over the table?” “I honestly don’t know.”
Like in hindsight it makes sense that this action had a consequence, but I have no explanation for why 10 year old me didn’t think this through, or why I would do it in the first place.
Adults always thought I was being difficult but I was so confused :(
For the first ~thirty years of my life the explanation for “why didn’t you do the thing?” that made the most sense to me was that the thing must not be worth doing, so it was everyone else’s problem for wanting it done in the first place.
Many people in positions of authority over me disagreed with this interpretation.
Many people in positions of authority over me disagreed with this interpretation.
They were, of course, all wrong.
Of course!
On a completely unrelated topic, have you noticed that people with authority have a hard time admitting that they’re completely wrong?
I did. Strange, isn’t it? Such losers…
And then get yelled at for “making excuses” trying to justify why you did the thing you did or didn’t do, and end up just giving up trying because you know they’ll never listen or understand anyway.
I answer honestly. “I intended to do it, but I could not force myself to do it.”
When I am having a bad pain day, I don’t make anything else up either. It makes little sense to answer “why didn’t you go up the stairs?” with anything other than “My legs hurt so bad I can barely walk,” so why make something up for ADHD?
People at least vaguely understand pain (even if they’re not always understanding) but not being able to make yourself do something is entirely incomprehensible.
Understandable, but that’s not my problem.
My brain isn’t working with this. I can almost always find the reason. Is this because of the AuADHD ducks in my brain being aware of each other and the other always points the shit out and they get in another argument and my brain keeps being loud forever?
The hidden burden of undiagnosed
ADHD[insert condition] is constantly needing to invent excuses in an attempt to explain or justify behavior that you don’t even understand yourself.FTFY. 🤌🏼
I just got officially diagnosed at 28 on Friday and I’m so happy I won’t have to do this anymore
“Okay, you got your diagnosis, you’re getting treatment, so no more excuses for not being normal!”
Oh you will still. 28 years of behavioural reinforcement.
In healing from my own ADHD-related trauma, I’ve learned that “I’m not interested” is often the actual reason and that there are coping strategies for making this the case.
In parenting my ADHD-riddled children, I’ve realized that “I’m not interested” is also not a panacea and sometimes no amount of coping will make you interested in certain things
