Way to rain on my parade. Tabarnac, you just ruined my entire life.
TouchMacaque
Certified person, 100% someone.
- 3 Posts
- 235 Comments
If you’re a rabbit go nuts and bang other rabbits but if you’re a human person no no no we don’t fuck animals
AI gonna go on unemployment and take all the benefits from the rest of us
The best thing to do before your wedding is to go camping and bang like rabbits. You know what they say, jizz tents makes the heart grow fonder.
This is me after a night of drinking dayquil and NyQuil while surfing the web using a skamtebord instead of a computer.
TouchMacaque@lemmy.cato
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•[META] A little PSA for some of ya'llEnglish
8·2 天前My nanobot daddy built me a pet robot that runs on wombat cum but I accidentally filled it with Wallaby cum instead so it got angry and showed me a forbidden video from the jungle of an elephant jerking off a few Bonobos with it’s trunk.
TouchMacaque@lemmy.cato
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•Remember when a package didn't need instructions on how to open itEnglish
18·2 天前It’s talking about pussy right? Right?
TouchMacaque@lemmy.cato
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•This was a great website and I still miss itEnglish
6·2 天前Steak and cheese
I said something about my jerboa app gonna stop working soon because of dumb Android API rules and no one at my Mennonite furniture store knew what the fuck I was talking about
TouchMacaque@lemmy.cato
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•'Rise of the Silver Surfer' is a heartwarming story of four seniors who find love online...and become a quadrupleEnglish
6·3 天前The boner pill industry approves
My ex husband showed me this trick years ago. I still miss him but we had to separate because his gynecologist convinced me to drink 8 gallons of knob softener and caused a sexual catastrophe. Now I sit around playing dragon quest 4 with earplugs and a blindfold on every Wednesday night in his honor.
The asbestos condoms keep your shlonger safe from all the gross stuff on the balogna when you stuff it into a toilet paper tube to bake a makeshift fleshlight.
The cool thing about the postal service is that they will deliver anything no questions asked.
Top bun from a McDonald’s hamburger? no problem!
Asbestos condoms? You got it!
Several slices of 9 year old moldy balogna? Hell yeah buddy!
Just to be clear here the “he” I’m referring to is Rodney Clinton.
He’s gonna open up a KFC rip off chain called Nantucket fried hymen. The only thing they serve is deep fried fish hymens with some kind of cum based mayonnaise sauce. I can’t wait to try it, I bet it’ll be disgusting
Wowsers you still think I’m using an LLM and that I’m not just a complete moron with a boring desk job? Maybe you should go buy yourself some [insert adjective] ice cream.
Best I can do is a thermos full of cum with a toy missile in the middle
I don’t build the cars I just make the memes 🤷♀️

Uh oh now everyone’s going to know I use pube straightener before laying my penile eggs in them.