The love scene in question:
At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.
More review snippets here. One includes the line, “do not read this book.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_Lost#Reception
bulbous salutation my dudes
Bogus!
Most non-non-heinous.
It’s like he wrote an already weird sex scene description, then right clicked every word and chose the last synonym on the list.
What did he call it first then? A large hello?
Bulging greeting
Someone should start a community for that.
There was a literary movement called Oulipo that did things like that. What comment-OP described would be a variant of a technique called “n+7”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oulipo#Constraints
On a related note, there’s the Bulwer Lytton prize for terribly written introductions to novels. It was based on the 1830 novel Paul Clifford, famous especially for its first line
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Being a big ou(x)po fan, they at least were good at their work. Highly recommended starting with Italo Calvino’s Cosmicomics or If On A Winter’s Night A Traveller
I’ve neen dying at “wacked and smaked” for 10 minutes
He’s hackin’, wackin’ and smackin’!
Falls completely flat without Johnny Marr’s guitar work.
Can someone feed that quote into the new, anything goes image generator? I wanna see what a bulbous salutation looks like
He’s said publicly that he hates sex, so I don’t know what anyone was expecting.
He probably hates sex because it requires him to show up and actually perform.
Holy shit, that’s a good burn.
Probably not the best person to write a sex scene in that case.
I’d hate it too if i thought sex was whatever the fuck this is
“hello, fellow sex havers”
One can imagine him struggling to imagine the scene well enough to write it, then going to a toy shop, buying a Barbie and a Ken and spending the next half hour mashing them against each other in an attempt to visualise it.
Wtf did I just read…
Poetry.
HORNY LEVELS APPROACHING 60 PERCENTAGE POINTSThis better be satire.
If you read that in Morrissey’s voice with “How Soon Is Now” as an earworm, it is slightly titillating.
ymmv
I don’t want to kink shame.
All I know is I don’t want anyone’s breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.
All I know is I don’t want anyone’s breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.
Damn. There goes a potential match!
Who is Morrisey?
A sort of human endurance test of preening wankery. There was a kind of contrary fun about him until he stopped being coy about his racism.
A musician. Like Cher, he’s known by only a single name (though his birth name is Steven).
I also have it on good authority that he does, in fact, ride a cock-horse…
What is Google?
