Yes, this is a real Am I The Asshole, not one where the answer is super obvious and the user is just looking to have their ego stroked.
My SO has BDD and genuinely thinks they look ugly naked. I think they’re 1000% incorrect and that they’re the sexiest human alive, and I would die happy if I could see them naked all the time.
I was diagnosed with a condition called Cone Rod Dystrophy which basically means I’ll lose color vision, then all vision. The timeline is anywhere from next week to 50 years from now.
I want to see them naked every chance I can get so I can cement it in my head before I go blind, but I feel gross for posing that as a reason to let me see them naked.
Like, in the 10 years we’ve been together I’ve never even asked them for a hand job if they didn’t feel up to sex because I didn’t want to seem like a callous asshole, so this would be a big ask from me.
To add in complications, they’re also on the spectrum. Not a criticism since I’m most likely on it too.
We have sex every day, so that’s not our issue, but on asking for stuff we do have differences. I won’t ask for something unless I need it, husband will ask for stuff, but he is literally just asking and fine with a no. I have different ways of asking when I don’t need something, will ask ABOUT things I don’t need, like “would you consider” or “what do you think about” but if I say “would you please do X” it’s because I NEED you to do that.
So you may think asking is applying pressure, but she may, like my husband, just think it’s a multiple choice question with no as good an answer as yes.