It’d be fun to get one for someone and reprogram/train it to scream “CUNT” periodically. Like a cursed amulet with coprolalia.
It doesn’t have a speaker or any kind of sound output. Or even a screen. When you press the button to make a question, then you have to take out the phone from your pocket, open the app, and read the response on the screen. Can’t think to a stupider way to waste $100. If anyway you need to take the phone out from your pocket, unlock it, and run the app to read the responses, what’s the purpose of the hardware? A shittier microphone than the one you already have on the device with the screen?
Can’t think to a stupider way to waste $100
Ha! Let me guess, you’re not a billionaire?
Well that’s shit!
Especially if it yelled such words while impersonating their voice.
Yeah, I’d love for something stupid like that. Just repeats things it’s heard or downloaded off the internet. I’d buy one of those, without the spyware ofc. Edit: Oh, that’s probably why pirates had pet parrots.
Better yet, it could listen for other voices and intentionally yell obscenities when the owner is around strangers. Maybe also program it to whisper sometimes.
Marketing surveillance devices as desirable consumer products (like Alexa) is something that I reluctantly have to give capitalism props for. I mean, they haven’t just gotten people to accept bugging their own home, but they got people to pay for it as well! Yeah, it’s shitty, but it’s been done well.
This is why I leave my Alexa on the back of my toilet. I don’t talk in the bathroom and all I get is personalized ads for bidets and toilet paper.
Gonna try to get it to the table, seems playable
These amulets are popping up all over the place, seems like every village has at least one person with one, and the owners are very proud of them. They’re inscribed with the symbol of the god Tek, and wearers call themselves Tekologists and they seem to gather followers about them (basically anyone who consistently can’t pass the WIS saving throw). The followers all resolve to buy their own amulets. There seems to be a strange cohesion among those who wear them. There are signs that the Teknologists are forming their own significant political force.
Turns out Tek is a dragon, the voices in the amulets are their kobold army each operating a magical switchboard and shouting questions at each other, and they couldn’t care less about the rise of the Teknologists, they just came up with the scheme to sell cheap magic rocks to rubes who can’t afford them, for 249G a pop.
Used this to generate the card. Didn’t want to not credit them. https://www.magicitemtool.com/
Actually, yeah. Y’know some of those cursed things could have just been “smart wear” or smth. A mysterious object that whispers lunacy and drives the holder into madness? Yeah, a “ai” necklace will do that.
Sauron would have made a good tech oligarch. Took some advanced craft someone else invented, made personal wearable devices that were given out seemingly at a loss, only to have a centralized master control that lets them use them to manipulate the owners to benefit his political interests, which include personal power. Also appears to have a negative impact on the environment if Mordor’s state has anything to do with his actions.
I prefer this cursed amulet.
That framing makes me kinda interested.
Linus tech tips did a review. The device can’t actually talk it has to send you pings through an app on your phone. It also has a strict text limit so only 1-2 sentence replies each time.
Oh that’s fuckin lame. If it had a scary voice, I’d be all in.
When you first sign up you have to check a box that says, “I acknowledge that if I lose the Friend there is no possible way of recovering them”.
same
This is bleak jfc
https://www.wired.com/story/friend-ai-pendant/
Open it in Firefox’s reader mode to remove paywall.
If I see someone wearing this, I’m not interacting with them.
It remind me: https://youtu.be/Zt7IDMXPoH0?t=50
22-year old CEO who was given the infinite money cheat to roll this turd out of his colon.
Any free market economists want to weigh in on this one?
First, though, comes the fine print. The AI version of a friend comes with more than just packaging and a charger—it has paperwork. Friend’s terms require waiving the right to jury trials, class actions, and court proceedings, funneling disputes into arbitration in San Francisco. Buried within are clauses on “biometric data consent,” which grant the company permission to passively record audio and video, collect facial and voice data, and use these to train AI.
Schiffmann’s answer to the legal fine print is that Friend is a weird, first-of-its-kind product, so the terms of service are intentionally heavy. He added that the terms are “a bit extreme” by design—“so I don’t have to keep editing it”—and that with a three-person team and pricey lawyers he’s avoiding extra legal exposure. (He said he’s not selling in Europe to duck the regulatory headache.)
Anyone who buys this is an absolute mark.
Should have motors to adjust the lenght of a string to fit any body type and purpose. If your have a smaller body, you deserve it’s standard 1.0 lenght, if you are a bit bigger, you get 1.3 lenght, if you want to put accents onto your cleavage with a device, you can hang it past 1.4, 1.5 even, and if you are an undesirable it rushes to -0.1 in two seconds, so it also destroys itself in the process and we can tell it’s not a desired behavior.
Imagine thinking that you can “own” a device that relies on cloud computing.
you own the device and have a license to the software
Nine hundred and $99
