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cm0002@mander.xyz to Memes@sopuli.xyz · 10 天前

Apple that makes eunuchs

lemmy.ml

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Apple that makes eunuchs

lemmy.ml

cm0002@mander.xyz to Memes@sopuli.xyz · 10 天前
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  • AeronMelon@lemmy.world
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    10 天前

    [several transfems are typing…]

    • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      10 天前

      Mm…mmmrrroow 🥺

  • macniel@feddit.org
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    10 天前

    Omg that’s horrible…

    Where can one find one?

    • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Calm down there Eve

  • Beth@piefed.social
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    10 天前

    Can it do tops too?

    • moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9 天前

      Does it do weddings as well?

  • Courtney (she/her/they) @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    10 天前

    Damn, I just want my balls off. I wanna keep my dick.

    What if I just have a nibble?

    • tetris11@feddit.uk
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      10 天前

      I remember Snow White a little differently from this

      • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 天前

        You know all those stories were sanitized.

    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
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      10 天前

      I’m not sure you really want that. As a horny teen I wanked myself dry a few times and it is painful. Imagine it felt like that every time.

      • Courtney (she/her/they) @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 天前

        No, I’m positive I want that.

        I think as a teen we all went a little too hard with our equipment once or twice lmao

      • Redjard@reddthat.com
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        9 天前

        Balls only make sperm, the fluid is the prostate(?) or smthn, it comes from inside the body.

    • expr@piefed.social
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      9 天前

      I’ve never heard someone say that before. Why would you want one but not the other, if you don’t mind my asking?

      • Ginny [they/she]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        9 天前

        Hello! I’m not the person you asked but I figured I’d throw in my experience.

        In my case, if I could snap my fingers and instantly change my penis to a vulva, I would. But I had a haemorroid surgery many years ago, and the month or so afterwards was one of the worst times of my life, so I would prefer it if no surgeon ever went anywhere near my lower trunk ever again.

        But everyone’s experience is different. Some women just like to fuck, and of the trans women who do, some don’t feel the need to replace the factory installed equipment for doing so.

      • Bluewing@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        Well, you could still pee standing up.

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

          my dude, the she-wee has existed since, uh, plastic. maybe only as long as women have served in the military.

          • Bluewing@lemmy.world
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            8 天前

            Not a very common thing to find in the wild.

            • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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              8 天前

              i bet if you plucked a pitcher plant it would work

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      9 天前

      Yeah like is there an artificial flavour I can try? Also someone attached to the birth kit

  • Seth Taylor@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    Trans lifehack

    • CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Was about to ask where to find some, asking for a friend of course

      • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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        9 天前

        But it would make you a nullo?

  • rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    10 天前

    Free orchidectomy and penectomy? Where are these apples found? Asking for a friend

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      10 天前

      free castration

  • Annoyed_🦀 @lemmy.zip
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    10 天前

    Shouldn’t it be called Instant Trans Apple? Non invasive transition, very convenient.

    • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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      10 天前

      This implies trans women are just men without genitals.

      • iocase@lemmy.zip
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        10 天前

        This implies the speed running community doesn’t exist

        • Callypo@lemmy.world
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          10 天前

          This has dire cobsequences for the furry community!

      • qarbone@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        No it doesn’t? The apple doesn’t check if you’re a man before de-dickandballs-ing you. It’ll uproot the twig and berries whether you’re cis, trans, or intersex.

      • Lumisal@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        Your comment implies women that are trans and get surgery aren’t trans, just men without genitals.

        • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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          9 天前

          No, it doesn’t.

    • sunsofold@lemmy.zip
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      9 天前

      I imagine it’d be more like the kind of removal one gets from other natural causes, like frostbite or a bloodclot. I.e. painful and necrotic

      • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        you left out snake and pumabite

  • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    9 天前

    If, hypothetically, some sort of person who didn’t have a dick and balls were to eat it?

    • qarbone@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      It’s expunging 15g of crotchmeat no matter what you do or don’t have, so buckle up.

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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        9 天前

        So, for reference, studies like the sources for this article suggest the average human penis weighs between 70-100 grams.

        So you’d be growing a micropenis at 15g. Not quite the effusive expulsion you were imagining.

      • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 天前

        Oh. So if someone had a

        Wait. Penises get erect by engorging with fluid. Do you lose a smaller percentage if you have an erect vs flaccid penis while eating one?

        • qarbone@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

          Yes.

          And you don’t lose all of it, if you’re particularly well-endowed.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      you get all the dicksandballses that have fallen off since the last dickandballsless person to eat one

      • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 天前

        So this is just a snack for all trans people?

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

          Yeah, like David Bowie

  • SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org
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    10 天前

    No, thanks. I hate sweet apples. Give them to us sour and crunchy.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      sweet apples have their uses. get a nice apple corer and fuck yeah, that recipe’s easy.

    • king_comrade@lemmy.world
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      10 天前

      What’s apple’s, precious?

  • atomicorange@lemmy.world
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    10 天前

    No negatives you say?

  • Jo4ted@lemmy.zip
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    10 天前

    Any other transfems want to join me in going on an adventure to find these?

  • bacon_pdp@lemmy.world
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    10 天前

    How could one fund an orchard to provide these for free to transfem women?

    • iltoroargento@startrek.website
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      10 天前

      And conservative men.

      • bacon_pdp@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        I don’t believe in hurting anyone who has the potential to be converted into anarchist allies.

        But what others do, is up to them but I only suggest that those nearest to the top are those least likely to be converted.

        • iltoroargento@startrek.website
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          9 天前

          That’s basically where I was going with the joke, anyway. I’m hoping this could be the change they need to reassess their life and join the human race.

          • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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            9 天前

            i mean, yeah i got you were joking. one of my firmest morals is that people have the right to choose what they put in their bodies and in order to do that they have to know what they are putting in it and what it will do. but like, woooooo this apple is going to forcefemme you is kinda funny.

            • iltoroargento@startrek.website
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              9 天前

              Lol exactly

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    10 天前

    My sister would love these.

  • Chef@sh.itjust.works
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    10 天前

    Wow, I’d love to try…

    holdup

    • TheThunderWolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      10 天前

      🥚

      • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        “i’ll try anything once” oh shit

  • Cypress@lemmy.zip
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    9 天前

    I want that apple even more now.

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