Can you all really not acknowledge other people’s hotness to your partner? As long as you don’t try fucking them what’s the issue? If they don’t trust you why even be together?
There’s a few strands of toxic monogamy that are pretty common. Really jealous, controlling, and with poor emotional regulation.
I’m lucky my current partner is very chill about these things. I’m still good friends with two previous partners and it’s never been an issue. We’ve all hung out together.
I’m in an open marriage with a slightly bi woman, and these boomer-tier memes are always so funny to me. We look at women together, and when she asks if I want to sleep with them it feels more like coaxing than a trap.
I’m monogamous but it doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate looking at hot people. How conceited would you have to be to think you’re better looking than everyone else your partner sees.
And yet here we are. The joke wouldn’t work if literally every man couldn’t recognize this situation. Or are they all just mass deluded and you alone have seen the light? Just… Stop.
Yes! And not just acknowledge hotness, but sometimes more depending on the couple. My husband and I not only acknowledge other people’s hotness - we will fuck them given the opportunity.
Every person is different and every relationship is different.
See, I have compersion (the opposite of jealousy where you’re happy someone else is happy without you), but my wife doesn’t. We’ve worked through polyam with a therapist, so we’re fine, but I would love for her to have a partner that isn’t mine also.
I can see how my comment came off as disparaging people in open relationships. I didn’t intend that. I was just directing it at those who are jealous, presumably because they’re worried about their partner being interested in other people.
Jealousy is one of those personality attributes that can swing (heh) wildly in intensity from one extreme to another for different people (or sometimes the same person at different stages of their life).
It can be almost 100% emotional and irrational or can be “meh” or even “that’s kinda hot”.
None of the women I’ve been with have been jealous like this. I’ve had some point out other women they thought were hot to me. There’s options. It’s also not just women with jealousy problems men can be just as bad too.
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Can you all really not acknowledge other people’s hotness to your partner? As long as you don’t try fucking them what’s the issue? If they don’t trust you why even be together?
There’s a few strands of toxic monogamy that are pretty common. Really jealous, controlling, and with poor emotional regulation.
I’m lucky my current partner is very chill about these things. I’m still good friends with two previous partners and it’s never been an issue. We’ve all hung out together.
Some people even want their partners to get jealous and controlling and think they don’t really love them if they don’t.
I’m in an open marriage with a slightly bi woman, and these boomer-tier memes are always so funny to me. We look at women together, and when she asks if I want to sleep with them it feels more like coaxing than a trap.
I’m monogamous but it doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate looking at hot people. How conceited would you have to be to think you’re better looking than everyone else your partner sees.
You do realize 95% of the population can recognize themselves in this situation, right?
Appeal to majority? I’ve never found the argument that “most people think this way” to be very compelling.
Not really? As lightnsfw said, even if you’re monogamous you should be able to notice attractive people without it turning into a fight.
And yet here we are. The joke wouldn’t work if literally every man couldn’t recognize this situation. Or are they all just mass deluded and you alone have seen the light? Just… Stop.
It doesn’t! That explains it-- literally every man must not recognize this situation :)
I know this situation only from people in unhealthy relationships. Repressed emotions like this can lead to cheating or mistrust
Uhh, okay. Plenty of people I know can point out attractive people without it turning into a fight. This is toxic.
Yes! And not just acknowledge hotness, but sometimes more depending on the couple. My husband and I not only acknowledge other people’s hotness - we will fuck them given the opportunity.
Every person is different and every relationship is different.
Same here. We allow each other to fuck others when given the chance. I can’t wait for her stories
See, I have compersion (the opposite of jealousy where you’re happy someone else is happy without you), but my wife doesn’t. We’ve worked through polyam with a therapist, so we’re fine, but I would love for her to have a partner that isn’t mine also.
I can see how my comment came off as disparaging people in open relationships. I didn’t intend that. I was just directing it at those who are jealous, presumably because they’re worried about their partner being interested in other people.
Oh I wasn’t offended! I was agreeing and adding on with my own experience lol. I’m sorry if I came off too blunt!
I edited it to show that I agreed with you.
Jealousy is one of those personality attributes that can swing (heh) wildly in intensity from one extreme to another for different people (or sometimes the same person at different stages of their life).
It can be almost 100% emotional and irrational or can be “meh” or even “that’s kinda hot”.
But you don’t have to stay with someone like this. It’s abusive.
If people didn’t date women who pull this shit humanity would go extinct.
You have a very narrow view of women.
Yes I clearly hate women. Tell me about my immorality.
A narrow view is much different than hate.
None of the women I’ve been with have been jealous like this. I’ve had some point out other women they thought were hot to me. There’s options. It’s also not just women with jealousy problems men can be just as bad too.
It’s never happened to me either, but I’ve seen it happen to others. So YMMV I guess…
My point is there’s no reason to put up with this jealousy.
It’s certainly not 95% of couples though.
Men and women can struggle with jealousy. It’s not a gendered thing.
Hear hear! Solipsism is the only true god!
What?