We had a big mandatory meeting where an executive came in to tell us all to be happy we weren’t getting our bonuses or pay raises, and used a weird analogy about poor people being perfectly happy, because they have realistic expectations and that’s all you need to be happy.
He then had to leave early, as he quipped he was sharing a ride with a fellow executive on the private jet, and if he didn’t leave right then, he’d have to suffer flying commercial.
If you’re still there, organise your workplace. Unionise. Join the IWW - they can help you to accomplish this.
This was like a decade ago, I’m elsewhere now. Still not union, but I personally have no room to complain (reasonable hours and conditions and quite well paid).
Please tell me someone recorded this utter waste of oxygen doing the equivalent of stepping on garden tools in a Looney Tunes short. That’s so monstrously fucking stupid it could be funny (if the old adage of tragedy + time = comedy holds true, anyways).
It’s funny when summarized, but sitting there for over an hour to set up the punchline drained all enjoyment from life.
If someone bothered to record it, I’ve no idea. Nowadays (different company) all such meetings are recorded and made available, but haven’t seen an executive say something quite so boneheaded in general.
“Don’t you guys have phones?”
Biggest physical room I’ve witnessed a misread happen in
“Is this some out of season April fools joke?”
And yet after everything that happened with Diablo Immortal, Diablo 4 was apparently Blizzard’s best selling game ever.
If the customers don’t care why should the company?
I think Blizzard not taking any real damage from their anti-consumer BS is why I don’t respect people who identify as Gamers™. I still play games, mainly from indie devs, but identifying as a gamer just means you’re a mark for scummy companies.
That’s a weird blanket to throw. I can think of a few people I know including myself who don’t fit that description but still would consider ourselves as gamers if someone asked.
I’ve been to enough LAN parties and various conventions. The most obnoxious gamers have always been the ones that make it part of their identity, which in the year 2023, is mainstream and just another form of consumerism. There’s a difference between “I play video games after work” and being a Gamer™.
Some of us have completely dumped ActiBliz permanently. The existence of Overwatch 2 was my final straw as it turned out Bungie was the bad guy behind the Activision mask all along with Destiny 2’s bullshit. Never even looked at Diablo Immortal or 4, and never will. Blizzard joined the shambling horde of zombie companies that effectively died years ago. Damned AAA necromancers just out to pump and dump any remaining customers.
God, I was right to stay clear away from Destiny. When that was announced, I couldn’t even tell what the genre was even suppose to be. It sounded more like they were selling me a life style then a game.
It’s so bizarre. I play a lot of indie fps games from small team or solo devs and they don’t have the fraction of the bugs that AAA studios do. Goes to show the difference between passionless corporations and individuals with a single game design vision can be.
There it is.
Thousands of people from all over the world. Primarily PC gamers. Paying thousands in flights and accommodation. All to see a predatory phone game get revealed.
Should have saved that shit for the quarterly shareholder report.
I came to this thread to say this one too.
My first job out of university.
Company is going through financial hardship. Boss cancels our collective insurance without telling us. Then the president of the company does a meeting in a shady motel reception room to announce to everyone the company isn’t going well and we all need to take a 10% pay cut. Ends the PowerPoint presentation with a photo from our major client’s ads with a lady on a beach with a laptop. President says “oh that’s going to be me in a few weeks. I’ll be going to Greece!”
The whole room just say there silent.
Fuck the rich.
went to an international boarding school that had a very diverse spectrum of political beliefs
I was in the school’s pride club, and my senior year this very charismatic kid, Ken, joined. Ken was an international student
we start our first meeting, and Ken is a vibrant member of the group. but he’s saying some very… odd things. he’s talking about how gay people are mentally ill and need to be helped, lotsa fun stuff
the club leader very patiently pushes back on him on this, and eventually asks “well it’s not like any gay people are here now, right?”
… he didn’t come back after that meeting
He must have thought it was a nationalist pride group.
One time the company big boss did a speech telling us how we could all learn a thing or two from his protégé, and clapped him on the shoulder.
If big boss had spent more time in the office, he’d have known that Mr Protégé spent most of his working hours playing ping-pong with Big Boss’s trophy-wife.
So ping-pong is an euphemism for sex? Or was he literally playing ping-pong?
I just remembered the pattycake scene in Roger Rabbit.
Yeah, but with his balls
Oooh the agony
Oh the shame
To make his privates public for a game
You could argue that he wasn’t wrong.
An American comedian, following a long set here in Australia, told the audience to stand up and stretch. He then tried to direct us to “bend over and pat your neighbour on the fanny”. Stone cold silence did not indicate to him his mistake, and he tried several times before eventually realising he had lost his audience goodwill entirely with this starting skit.
Turned out later that he had no clue what “fanny” means here, and had to have it explained to him.
Still a weird thing to say.
Not as weird or rude as telling them to pat their neighbour on the vulva.
I think “grope your neighbor” just falls under unacceptable dumbassery from a stand-up regardless.
Like, if the bit is making people refuse to do it, why keep trying when no one laughs?
Okay wait, even if he meant “butt”, I feel like no one is going to follow a random comedian’s request to grope your neighbor on the butt…
No, not grope, as I said, pat.
He felt we had all been sitting down for too long, and should gently pat the stranger on the butt, presumably to help them with the pins and needles. It was weird, but we thought it was weirder still! I believe people did indeed ask a lot of questions of him, but at the time it was a massive moment of lost in translation and divided by a common language, etc.
Genuinely curious what does fanny mean in Australia
It’s slang for ‘pussy’. It’s the same in the UK.
So question for any language experts: why is it different?
Wait, what does fanny mean in America?
It’s a word for butt. It sort of has a childish connotation, like a pre-school teacher might direct their class to “keep your fannys on the ground.”
I thought I made people mad by ordering a curry chicken sandwich in a student-ran shop in college, but I hadn’t paid attention to an announcement that was made at the end of the class and I accidentally interrupted the minute of silence for a terrorist attack that had happened a few days before
Similar situation, I was at an antiques shop with my parents, on November 11th, which here in the UK is a day of remembrance for people who died during WW1 and WW2. We’re observing the moment of silence, when an American guy walks in, notices the silence and loudly exclaims “Wow, who died? It’s like a mausoleum in here!” Someone, thankfully, took him to the side and quietly explained what was happening. He did apologise afterwards. I found the whole situation very funny.
At least there’s a concrete answer to his question!
Good lord 😂
I got called “chicken curry” for years
Ooooof. This sounds like something I would do. Ugh. I want to hide right now just thinking about it. Glad you made it through to the other side. :)
I remember a pause for a minute’s silence announced in the upper concourse of a train station (UK) last year. It was disconcertingly comedic as the people walking in either on the phone or with a friend were very confused at why everyone inside was standing motionless and glaring at them.
I think I was working in that station on that day, because I have a very similar anecdote. Actually someone came to buy a ticket, and was annoyed because they thought they might miss their train having to wait for the minute’s silence to end. Not even the most callous passenger I’ve come across either.
Where did you see that? I’m in the UK, can’t remember exactly which station but pretty sure it was a London station with underground
Honestly fuck those intercom announcements. If you want to have a minute of silence, say “we will now have a minute of silence” instead of “mrrrr mrr mrrr mr drrrrr mrrrrr mrrrrr-mrrrrrrrr” fucking shit quality can’t understand a word they say
It was an announcement in class by the teachers
Ah well then you’re just a dummy.
Celebrities singing Imagine
I worked at Cabela’s when it was bought out by Bass Pro. The sale went into effect mid-September, and in October they announced that all Cabela’s locations would be open on Thanksgiving for the first time ever and that ALL employees were required to be at work
On Thanksgiving day, when the employees who had their family time stripped away last minute were on the edge of revolt, the billionaire owner of Bass Pro made us print out and distribute an email he sent to all managers.
It was pictures of him and his family enjoying their Thanksgiving at his estate and a letter from him expressing how important it was to share the day with family and friends.
That’s so disgusting, I’m sorry you had to put up with that shithead
Please tell me there was a mass resignation after that email was sent.
The employees weren’t volunteers. They still had bills to pay.
And that’s why billionaires are bad. In the case of Bass Pro (probably owned by one person), one man directly controls the lives of tens of thousands of employees and there’s no recourse. He buys competing companies and crushes more lives, and makes people watch videos of his fishing trips.
And he literally thinks people love him for it. He sees himself as a benevolent provider.
Me. 19. In Ireland for a 2 hour layover to move onto Germany. I realize I can drink here. I go to the bar in the airport.
“What can I get you?”
“Can I get an Irish Car Bomb?”
Yeah… they didn’t like that. I didn’t know anything about the terrorism shit! 😩
I’m Irish and worked as a barman for over 10 years. I don’t know what happened to cause an issue with you but neither myself or any other bartender I worked with ever gave a shit about someone ordering a carbomb. We just made them and judged you for ordering a terrible drink
When you say you’re Irish, do you mean you were born and raised in Ireland?
[IRA Intensifies]
[Roth has entered the chat]
Yes, born and raised in Ireland. From the midlands but living in Dublin
Yeah I’m from Chicago and have Irish relatives, including an authentic McCraken (look it up). You ask for a Black & Tan over in the old country.
I looked up authentic McCracken and nothing comes up apart from a couple linkedin profiles and baseball player Quinton McCracken. What did you mean by that?
A quick search shows McKracken is a Scottish surname (wigtown, SW Scotland) that moved to Ireland in 1600s and is the surname of 1 in 223000. So… I’m not really sure what they are on about.
Plant manager sending out a site wide email saying that we’re doing awesome, and we’re desperately hiring so refer all your friends. One month after layoffs were announced, and those to be layed off still had a month to go.
I don’t know where you’re from, but some countries/areas have laws against fire and rehire, it’s a disgusting practice.
Give you one guess… you won’t need it.
Something something “at will employement”? Gotta love most US states…
seen it happen before but what they do is ‘abolish’ the role, and introduce a new role with a new name, oddly similar job description (they change it enough to count as a new role) and rehire people on contract where the previous roles were permanent
Not a specifically bad instance, but everywhere I’ve worked has always had that guy who has a hundred irrelevant questions at the end of a meeting, holding up 10 or so people from actually getting on with work.
I sit in business requirements meetings for enhancements to some software we use at work, and there’s a guy who feels the need to repeat everything everyone says in his own words (at least twice as many). The meetings used to be 30 mins but they had to extend them to an hour. And we have 2 a week.
Thanks to WFH it means I have 2 hours a week of guaranteed PlayStation time though, so I shouldn’t complain.
I’m the guy that needs to understand shit to move forward, so it’s like 25% dumb questions, 25% insightful questions, 25% pretentious sounding questions and 25% jokes that give white collar people heart attacks.
Don’t you think most people need to understand shit to move on? If you just ask urgent questions, then take time to digest the meeting and ask those insightful followups in a team chat, it filters out the 75% of the crap you were going to say.
Having a reputation as the guy who prolongs meetings with 25% dumb questions and 25% jokes is not a good thing.
I mean a lot of people in meetings have a good idea of what they want the scope of their involvement to be. My curiosity swamps any semblance of scope I might have. I’ve never actually gotten a reply in team chat. I don’t think most people even know it exists. I did get used to sorting out who I needed to be talking to and just hit them up after the meeting, though.
The only time I prolong shit is when I really, really disagree with something. Typically that’s an ethics issue.
Fair enough, I’ve been in those situations, that can be tough
Great question Robert. Let’s go ahead and parking lot that for the right time. Make sure you send that to us in your reply to the meeting notes. I don’t want to lose track of it.
We’ll circle back to that.
After a couple of bad questions, I’ll either excuse myself, suggest we carry on separately, or (ideally) ask to be sent a list, for me to ignore at my leisure.
Sorry Greg, we’re not here to answer your dumbass questions, or indulge your hypothetical edge cases.
It’s always hypothetical rabbit holes 🙄
They think they’re like Doctor Strange trying to map out every conceivable future
If 1 person has a question, then chances are good most people have that same question but are too afraid to ask it in front of everyone.
Some people have questions because they just don’t listen when information is given, or have no ability to think for themselves.
Just yesterday we were at my wife’s sister’s house. They live in a brand-new house in a brand-new neighborhood. Some dingus was going around to every single house leaving flyers advertising a tree trimming service and reminding everyone that it’s hurricane season. The thing is, their wasn’t a single tree in the entire neighborhood that was bigger than a year-old sapling.
I recently got warned that someone was offering tree trimming services in my neighbourhood as a way to see which houses were worth stealing from.
Sure, but that scam still wouldn’t work in a neighborhood where nobody needs to call them.
Man, I hope that was just some dude that got paid to pass out fliers.
Working in a European country, went to someone’s leaving party, to celebrate their career after 35+ years in the job. The manager is new, and flies in for the event specially. The whole room is speaking in their local language, the person’s whole extended family is there.
The manager gets up and starts to make a speech, using a lot of English idioms. The speech started out with “35 years?! You get less for murder!”. As a native English speaker, I thought that was actually pretty funny. The guys entire family - not so much.
That’s a cracker. Going to remember that one
Boss gets fired for blowing $15M on cloud platform per year for several years. New boss comes in and demands an audit. Turns out there’s waste everywhere. New boss says reduce cost or else. New boss calls a meeting a month later to review cost savings plan. Platform owner proceeds to provide a presentation outlining how the platform costs will rise by 20% next year and at least 10% every year after for several years. Platform owner gets fired. Complains no one listens to him.
