It’s the god damn hippos.
All we need to do is domesticate hippos
Have you seen a hippopotamus? No one fucks with a hippopotamus. They’re the most dangerous animal in Africa. Their skulls are like a dinosaur fucked an alien. Look.
Hippos are also super brave. They will take on anyone, even animals armed with razor sharp claws and teeth. They will fuck.
You.
Up.
That last one was definitely a real photo. Hippos will bite you on the bum. Be careful.
If we harness this power, the capitalists won’t stand a chance. You can’t even nuke a hippo, they don’t give a fuck. They’ll eat that shit and keep going. Their blubber is like armour and they sweat sunscreen (look it up), so that radiation isn’t even a problem.
They can swim. Imagine an army of these fuckers arriving on the shores of Florida, a whole army ready to go.
Best of all? They’re vegetarians. That’s right. They’re vegan approved, baby.
Yum yum get that in your tum big guy.
So let’s get to work, comrades. The future is hippo based communism.
Pictured: the future
it took us a while to figure out dinosaurs were feathered
Uphold Marxism-Leninism-Moo Dengist thought!
Hippos can’t swim. It’s actually even scarier, they can run underwater so fast it looks like swimming.
Imagine 10 thousand hippos running on the water like Sonic the fucking Hedgehog on the way to America to fuck up Jeff Bezos
Seen two people mention hippos can’t swim but it’s actually better, they do this gliding thing since they are sort of bouyant
Floating like Baron Harkonnen
That’s a Pokémon
Pablo escobar if he was a communist
me n who?
Who want they butt ate?
there are so many videos of charming families visiting the hippo enclosure at a zoo only to watch as the hippos blast diarrhea from their asses while helicoptering their tails to cut the turds into tiny chunks
it’s my favorite genre of film
Honestly blasting poopoo at your captors is a power move
There was that guy who tried to introduce hippos to the USA as a food source
Not sure what was rattling around in his head, what’s the alternative, it was the 19th century
I approve of this post
also I think we should liberate the house hippo from canada https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBfi8OEz0rAOh my god I want one
House Hippo is an absolute classic or any Canadian millennial. We had some amazing ads aimed at kids Concerned Children’s Advertisers were genuinely fucking awesome.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLj6EbAAc6mzLfTaKqb_bXnGvpc5EdMrot
The earlier ones are actually really fucking serious and it gets more silly as it goes. I remember em all
Edit: rewatching, they has different ones for different age groups and you csn tell what’s for teens and what’s for early childhood. I didn’t see as many of the teen ones cause they were pretty much gone by then. Gotta say, they did a really really good job.
My one Canadian source has informed me they’re real and I don’t think she’d lie to me on this
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Best of all? They’re vegetarians. That’s right. They’re vegan approved, baby.
Well, ackchyually, domestication and exploiting animals for human purposes goes against the principle of veganismFuuuuuck.
Uh. Maybe we can convince the hippos to team up with us as equals?
Pffft, yeah right. They’re going to be our overlords whether you like it or not.
We’re the ones who are gonna be bred into revolutionary war machines, not them.
Oh shit oh fuck
Hippos can’t swim. They sink and walk onnthe bottom of the water.
GOOD post
Quality post. Only thing is domesticating them for war would be exploitative. Instead, we must go to the hippos, teach them the immortal science of Marxism-Leninism, and beg them to help us as it is in their best interests to team up with us against global ecocidal capitalism before the ongoing capitalism-driven climate catastrophe kills them and us.
