- cross-posted to:
- chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
- cross-posted to:
- chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
WASHINGTON—In a move that significantly restricts the eligibility of thousands of American troops to fight for their country on the front lines, senior U.S. military officials announced Wednesday that all men with girl names would now be forbidden from serving in combat roles.
The ban, which goes into effect immediately, prohibits male personnel with clearly feminine names like Jamie, Sandy, and Alexis from serving in all artillery, infantry, and armored units. According to a Defense Department memo, the military is less effective as a fighting force when it deploys men named Francis, Sloan, Carol, or Loren in active conflict zones.
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I had to double check if this was The Onion or Not The Onion lol
Going to be so defenseless real soon.
Fascists suck at war
Are hegseth and trump vying to see who can be the stupidest fucker alive?
It’s satire from The Onion.
like ALEX, casey,etc.
Or Francis. Or Max (because it could be Maximilian or Maxine) or Sam (because it could be Samuel or Samantha), and if they have a French name, Mich (for either Michel or Michelle) or any number of other names.
EDIT: oh fuck it’s an onion article! Thank goodness!
Seeing a batshit insane headline actually coming from TheOnion is really refreshing
Ate the onion.
Me too.
Same. It’s just too real.
hate how possible onion articles are nowadays.
Sorry Stacy, pack your shit!
“what kind of name is Lindsey for a man? Ash! Get this pansy out of here.”
always been last name or shithead. 🤷♂️
You got me. It’s just so plausible at this point, I ate it.
It wasn’t until I saw your comment that I realised I ate the onion
It’s a good one, I really thought it happened.
At this point, it wouldn’t surprise me if they’re getting their policy ideas from The Onion.
I know, right? If it’s insane, it might actually come from El Trump.
Remember ths time a persident could be impeached for having his c0ck sucked by an intern.
I mean, Trump has been impeached and just like with Clinton, it doesn’t matter.
As if joining a men’s only organization - sleep with, shower with, eat every meal with, roll around in the mud with - isn’t the gayest shit ever. Shut it all down and settle your disputes the good old fashion pissing contest way; whoever holds 2L of beer the longest.
It’s not gay, if you say no homo.
Replace Semper Fi with No Homo and you’ve got a deal.
Deal.
Bruhhhh
Sponsored by Lindsey Graham.
Lol
What you expect him to go by a different name? The teacher will have to report this to the parents.
So… if I want my son to be spared from the draft all I have to do is give him a traditionally masculine name like Kelly, Courtney or Ashley?
if I want my son to be spared from the draft
Or Donald Trump.
Jody your out. Now here’s your separation documents and a list of the home addresses of all your battle buddies so you can keep in touch. Dismissed!
male personnel with feminine names can also cowardly bomb brown children from a safe distance.
