Looking for:
- no misogynists (so dbzer0 is out)
- no libertarians, no marxist lenninsts, no tankies, no rightwingers
- people who understand climate change is real
- leftists including anarchists, social democrats, democratic socialists, communists, etc are great
I picked world bc I was told it would have the most activity. Since joining Lemmy I have been repeatedly harassed by men on this instance, threatened with murder and rape by users including open Nazis (this was also happening on Reddit), and permabanned for being a woman, for being a feminist, and for not breaking any rules and posting factual news sources. Would like a better instance.
Have been considering solarpunk Lemmy but willing to consider other instances, just not sure
Eta: I’m looking for a recommendation of an instance, not your personal opinion on my experiences or feelings. If you are not going to give me the name of an instance you’d recommend, don’t comment.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Eta 2:
This user previously said very misogynistic things to me. They are now spam posting in here, bringing up rape and sexual harassment in a conversation where it was never mentioned by me, (so why is their mind jumping to THOSE words and why are they saying them?), tagged by another user who has also taken screenshots and posted images of me in other instances, resulting in harassment of me. This is what I mean when I say it’s a boys’ club and you all don’t cultivate a culture worth being around.
One thing I didn’t want to be around was men covertly and overtly threatening rape. Why can’t that be respected?
Eta 3:
Here, since people are claiming Lemmy is a bastion of women’s rights and feminism, a list of the shit I have been forced to read with my own eyeballs:
https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11677815
https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11692679
https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11697513
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idk, but anywhere but AN. we have a really nice, super chill place.
Go away.
The Argonaut Melampus cured the insanity of the daughters of Proteus with hellebore and urged them to join with young and strong men. Melampus believed woman’s madness derived from their uterus being poisoned with ‘venomous humors’, due to a lack of orgasms.
Thanks for being a bro, the Argonaut Melampus.
More to the point, I migrated from lemmy.world to sh.itjust.works by going through the instance list here: https://join-lemmy.org/ …and picking an active one in my country with a list of rules I could live with.
But as others have said, it’s basically the same experience unless you pick an instance with aggressive rules and/or defederated from the ones you don’t like. Otherwise you’re just seeing the same people and communities.
I don’t think I’ve ever had an issue with a blahaj user, so there’s that.
I just joined Lemmy Today, which is an instance run out of Oregon without any de-federation.
I’ve used them happily from a policy standpoint, but in past months, they’ve had some real load problems, where the instances has been unresponsive. I’m pretty sure that a lot of it is due to scraper-bots pulling material for AI training — I understand that this has been a serious problem for the Web as a whole, and particularly for forum sites, including the Threadiverse, and is why many Threadiverse instances have stopped allowing anonymous login in past months. Lemmy.today was a holdout, but finally also disabled anonymous login. However, I just tried it today and while it seemed fine for a while, I also saw an unresponsive episode, so I don’t know if they may still have other load issues to iron out.
I could potentially see the issues, but I think the Lemmy Today guys thought of that. I think they recommend some mobile clients that could potentially mitigate that (or it could be something their VPS is doing that’s strange and that they’re already looking into).
Yesterday I joined Lemmy Yesterday
I’m gonna keep it real with you. You’re going to see the same problems no matter which instance you end up on.
I have no idea who you are, and I don’t care. However, purely looking at your account history and modlog, you seem like a generally unpleasant person. You come off as someone who picks fights and can’t take criticism. The way you act is rude, hostile, and annoying. You also seem to be into some weird conspiracies, which makes you look unhinged. That’s probably why you keep getting banned. You’re not being banned for being a woman or a feminist, but because you break a lot of rules, at least according to the modlog.
My point is that it doesn’t matter which instance or platform you go to. You’re the common denominator. Obviously, that doesn’t mean people should harass you, but it does mean you’re at least partly responsible for how people interact with you. Lemmy is usually a chill place if you avoid politics, and even then, most people are nice as long as you’re civil. From what I see people are just treating you the way you treat them, so there’s a good chance that your problems might follow you on a new instance.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Lol no.
It’s amazing, men will do ANYTHING but admit misogyny, even while our government is being actively taken over by misogynists taking away bodily autonomy, the right to divorce, charges for beating your spouse, being able to vote, etc etc. These are all real policy proposals by my government in the last year. And you want to claim that the misogyny is all in my head - a misogynist thing to think and say. The rape threats aren’t in my head, and aren’t being said to men.
I am on other forums, I exist irl, and have been for decades - the issues I see are due to sexism here. That is my experience as a woman. It has also gotten worse as 5th gen warfare has gotten worse (esp since 2016). You don’t need to argue, insult me, or make up alternative theories - this is due to sexism. Period.
If you don’t get this, then you are a misogynist too.
I didn’t ask for your opinions on any of this, and your opinions are dogshit anyway. I asked what instance I might like. If you don’t know, go away.
To be fair he’s a nazi whining about immigration
https://harpers.org/archive/1941/08/who-goes-nazi/
Why do you think so many people back then automatically associated a hatred of women with Nazism? It isn’t just Dorothy Thompson, it’s also Eugene V Debs and others. They all accurately identified a love of women and fair treatment of women as being anti-fascist.
Case in point lmao
…ditto
Way to immediately prove their point
They actually proved mine first.
You are delusional.
The truth of the world is that most people don’t really care what gender you are. And most people on the internet don’t know what your gender is until you tell them.
Fast forward to you going straight to treating people like shit, and immediately using your gender to declare anyone that pushes back as a bigot in order to avoid any and all criticism. That’s not healthy behavior. Go seek help, particularly therapy
Yes, I am soooo delusional, no one cares abiut gender, such a stupid feminist for thinking people care about gender, and that RFK Jr just said we should diagnose women with TDS (meaning he’d put them in his camps) if they choose to take Tylenol for their pregnancy isn’t a sign of the rampant sexism killing and enslaving women. /s
You would never gaslight to benefit your own sex/men with this. /s You would never say “this is nothing” like the Republicans are currently saying about sending the national guard to Portland and Chicago and possibly invoking the insurrection act. /s. No, that is not something I’ve seen thousands of men do in the last year. /s
None of you even TALK about these concerns or topics. The misogyny is transparent. You’ve spent more effort insulting me in bad faith than critcizing ANY of the current harm to women. You are clearly a misogynist, a gender fascist.
Yes, it’s all in my head as a hysterical woman. /s
My experience of sexism isn’t a debatable topic. It is simply true.
And yes, most people see my username and know I am a woman.
I didn’t ask for your opinions on any of this, and your opinions are dogshit anyway. I asked what instance I might like. If you don’t know, go away.
Seems like you failed to answer me, so go ahead and leave, I made it clear I dont like misogynists like you. Stop bothering women who don’t want to be around you. No means no.
Hey, how’s dbzer0 sexist???
Shocked at your experience on Lemmy honestly. Particularly perma banned for being a woman?
Solarpunk is good.
OK so decided to check the modlog. You’ve been banned from 5 different comms on 4 different instances by 5 different mods.
- One for name calling and personal attacks.
- One for trolling.
- One for being generally unpleasant.
- One says many many rule violations.
- One says Repeated misinformation.
On comms like casual UK and tumblr.
You have two removed posts, one posting us news where it isnt allowed. One being ‘not news’, which is arguable.
And so many removed comments that I can’t even go through it all. Having read a couple they seem fair. I’m sure theres some unfair ones amongst them.
But your behaviour is very reddit like. Please understand that this place is run by the money and effort of the individuals who you are often attacking, the admins. People here also prefer to be chill and not combative unless there’s extreme right wingers. Mild petty internet disagreements are not worth being uncivil about.
You are of course more than welcome here as your heart is clearly in the right place but please understand that people here just want a chill space to be in.
Edit: and this is one of 5 accounts!
I never said those were the only bans - I simply have a problem with the bans I originally brought up for being a feminist and not breaking rules per the mod who banned me, which is why I want to leave. As in I spoke with the mod and broke down my comment and they were unable to say what rule I’d broken. This wasn’t an invitation to discuss my bans, this was information provided so people can recommend a better fit for me personally.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
“Lol you aren’t evil, you are just weak minded and unable to perform empathy at an adult level. Asking you to do so created a tantrum. Yes, you are a gender narcissist as I’ve explained. You are sexist, quite transparently. I won’t go away, I have a right to exist here. You can leave if you want, since you have nothing substantial to add. I’d also bite your dick off to watch you writhe so you might want to keep the sweety comment to yourself. I’m not that sweet, professionally so.”
I’m not even looking for bad ones, this is just right upfront. The whole conversation is a mess, not just you.
But both sets of comments were removed not just yours.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Won’t someone please think of the poor misogynists? Waa. All they are doing is destroying society and killing and enslaving women
Go ahead, post what he wrote to me.
“He does. One is an executive of neuralink. Elon and other billionaires literally want to kill everyone and start their own super human race. They are starting a civil war.”
I despise elon but wouldn’t complain if this was removed for being misinformation.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
It’s literally true (there’s already a civil war starting to kick off the in US literally right now with the military invading Chicago and Portland and Trump contemplating the insurrection act), and I can give news sources for it. Look up Dark Enlightenment.
https://cascadeinstitute.org/dark-enlightenment/
https://time.com/7269166/dark-enlightenment-history-essay/
https://www.ft.com/content/02217acf-ac64-49c2-acd5-ef4f107f014c
Just because you all are not politically informed on even BASIC BASIC stuff, doesn’t mean I am wrong.
Elon sieg heil’d on stage. They genuinely want to solve the climate crisis by killing people, enslaving people, and having their own families that they view as a super race (NOT MY VIEWS, obviously there is no such thing) be protected and in power. They’re building bunkers. They’re collapsing democracies. They are pushing disease like measles and Chaga’s and removing healthcare and food safety. It’s genuinely what is happening. All the same actions a hostile nation would do during war, is what the wealthy have done to the world’s people in the last year.
Damn, she got exposed lmao. You’re doing the lord’s work be sharing this with the community, thank you.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Wasn’t my goal honestly. 🤷♂️
Exposed for things I openly talked about in my first comment? Doing the lord’s work for not putting the comments I was responding to? Enlightened centrism supporting the status quo of the patriarchy once again, and women better shut up and get in line, huh?
lmfao please never change
Go away. When women don’t want to be around you, you should respect that. No means no.
non-consensual replies are sexual harassment!
Why would you say that? Would you have said that to a man?
Thanks, @Flatworm7591@lemmy.dbzer0.com , that was so helpful you tagged him here for him to say blatantly misogynistic stuff like this (and no, he would never say this to anyone but women). It was TOTALLY NECESSARY to answer my question of “which instance would you recommend to GET AWAY FROM THESE USERS?”
He’s now bringing up sexual harassment and rape and nonconsent as “funny” gotchyas. Thanks! I explicitly said in the OP the rape threats (even closeted ones where someone is “joking”) are the reason I want to leave. So glad he could provide that in this thread to prove my point. Why would he bring up sexual harassment and rape as jokes when I tell him I don’t want to talk to him? Why is a conversation around consent and emotional boundaries being taken to sexual harassment and rape territory right away? Especially against someone who has stated they have trauma around this?
But yeah, obviously I’m the issue.
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
Per the mod that banned me, that is not why I was banned for some of those.
The “US news” was about Elon Musk, a man from South Africa, interfering in global elections worldwide. They claimed it was US only but it wasn’t.
And I am proud to give personal attacks to misogynists, fascists, racists, child predators, and all the other dirtbags on here. That I am trying to avoid future conflict by changing instances is seemingly lost on you - yeah, when people defend themselves and stand up to abusers and the status quo, that creates waves and conflict. That is how we got human rights. I don’t respect attitudes like yours.
I do not have 5 accounts. I have this account.
WE THE COMMUNITY make the rules for general behavior, and I will NOT be compliant to the HORRIBLE SHIT I see on Lemmy constantly.
If db0 is weirdly sexist, I’ll gladly leave this place. I’m 100% a feminist. But I’m not seeing any evidence of this.
OP thinks any reaction to them flipping their shit instantly and constantly is aimed at their gender, instead of them flipping their shit instantly and constantly.
Yeah she seems a little off. I think she posts a little oddly but I don’t think she’s bad because she’s a woman. I think she’s a bit stressed out lately, and understandably so.
Self defense isn’t being “off.”
Being angry isn’t being “off.”
These are reasonable reactions.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
You are promoting the idea of hysteria. This is offensive, and this belief results and resulted in women being enslaved with no trial in psychiatric (torture) facilities - something RFK Jr is literally actively pushing for. And you’re helping him with your rhetoric and responses, validating the idea that angry women are hysterical and “off” when pushing back against abuses by men, and that men are the reasonable ones by default and entitled to treating women bad. Is it reasonable to comment on a woman’s thread with personal attacks and denials of her experiences when she is asking for a simple instance recommendation? That seems like instigating to me. But no, no, these guys are totally fine and I’m off.
Would you like me to find all the comments I was responding to? The ones that promote pedophilia, rape, and subjugation of women? How exactly is the normal way to respond to that? Tell me, oh men, how you want to police my emotions. If only I could be a perfect victim like you.
Maybe just post the responses you write to the rape threats you get. Since obviously misogyny on here isn’t real, so the rape threats are something everyone is getting, right? Not just me. So post yours and show me how I should be responding to these attacks which definitely are all in my head as being misogyny. Go ahead.
Do you think Francine Hughes was wrong for setting her abusive husband on fire? The courts found her to be reacting noncriminally to her abuse in a landmark case for women’s rights in the 80s. Do you even know about that case? Or do you think women should ALL be quiet and just put up with abuse from men?
I used to think you might be cool because Eugene is cool. Not anymore. You’ve done quiet a bit of patriarchal enforcing here - this thread was about recommending an instance for me to move to, and you’re spending your time here trying to police with others whether I’ve personally experienced misogyny on Lemmy - that was never the point of the thread in the first place, yet you all feel SUPER COMFORTABLE dismissing my own words, experiences, and what I want… With no evidence except removed comments that show I’m upset at what is being said to me - not even the comment I am responding to. Why is that? It’s like you’re pushing a patriarchal narrative for the boys club. Shame on you. May the way you treat women come back on you tenfold.
https://shawngude.substack.com/p/eugene-debs-supported-womens-suffrage
I can still see the aversion so unfeelingly expressed for this magnificent woman. Even my friends were disgusted with me for piloting such an “undesirable citizen” into the community. It is hard to understand, after all these years, how bitter and implacable the people were, especially the women, toward the leaders of this movement
You should change your username. You don’t have the spine or values to share his name.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
And this is a very clear example.
Someone disagrees with anything you do or like and you automatically assume they must not know anything and require education on some super basic subjects. So you decide the correct way to convey your viewpoint is with a half page copypasta, stripping out the useful intro and just offering instructions.
You treat everyone like they’re simultaneously some kind of uneducated child and the personification of evil. Perhaps somewhat understandably, people don’t really take well to that.
And now that I see your replies, you also seem to be hyperfocussing on one specific offense to you, pasting to the same reply to numerous, completely different, people and posts. I totally see why you’re getting banned so much, no community wants spammy replies like that.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
You do lack education. You do act like an ignorant child. You are causing harm. I do not need to rewrite well established summaries anew for everyone who struggles with the concepts of tone policing and hysteria.
And look in the mirror. Your attitude is worse than mine and you uphold systems of oppression too. Disgusting.
No. Wrong.
This, see below, he says they have a screengrab of my comments.
Please understand completely that misogyny IS gender fascism. I do not give a FUCK about being palatable to ANY fascists. Have you smelled the blood of a woman giving birth? Do you understand what that kind of slavery is like? Do you understand what has been at stake for your mother and every woman for months? Or are you blind and numb to it because it doesn’t involve you?
This sexist rhetoric online and elsewhere has been an issue since Gamergate, it’s pusged by massive 5tth gen warfare networks with MINIMAL pushback, and women were told to pipe down and it’s the boys club - and now abortion rights have been taken away and they are seriously trying to take away the right to vote, the right to divorce, the right to beat and rape your wife (spousal rape was still legal in the 90s). Me insulting people like this is like me insulting blatant genocidal Nazis - which I’ve also done and received raoe and death threats for… because they are all fascists.
Some of us have to stand for something and say something. The reason they squirm and complain is because it works.
Recommended documentaries (trigger warning):
- It’s A Girl (infanticide)
- Half the Sky (graphic sexism, sexual abuse)
- Whore’s Glory (graphic sexual abuse)
- Bleeding Edge (medical)
- Hot Coffee (medical)
- Diagnosis (medical)
- How to Die in Oregon (assisted suicide)
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
Yes, being a feminist was not okay in the early days here. Afaik I was the only person that was openly a woman or feminist for several months when I first joined.
I joined in July 2023 (on my first account on .world) and had nearly the opposite experience. I expect a certain amount of misogny in male dominated online spaces and it’s definitely not sunshine and roses here, as per the occasional trolls who hop into the women’s only community, but my first thoughts were of how little toxicity I saw, compared to other platforms.
That said, I curate my feed, mainly stick to communities I subscribe to, and (usually) disengage when the communication isn’t effective.
Okay, you’ll notice we are different people with different experiences. Do you have an instance you can recommend? Otherwise, this isn’t meant to be a discussion on experiences.
I did comment on the main post. And now I’m choosing to disengage.
Thanks, bye!
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
If you look at the second link, a user told me they proudly laugh at me and have pics of my comments as their banner - because I am angry that Project 2025 is killing women, enslaving women, and taking away our rights, and men seemingly do not give a fuck at all. In fact they complain about lack of sex and intimacy and gaslight women telling us to calm down, or to fuck rightwing men to calm them down and get them on our sides (you have holes, use yours). I will never join that instance if that is considered okay behavior.
This is the relevant link I think: https://lemmy.world/post/32343339/18042041
I totally get that Lemmy and the internet in general (and society in general) isn’t as welcoming for women as it is for men, so I can totally empathize with where you are coming from here.
You cant even acknowledge that he [Trump] may seize fascist control of Wikipedia lol. You’re weak mentally, you aren’t going to war against anything. We can all see that. The men in this country are the most shameful, disappointing, pathetic things I’ve ever witnessed.
First, if you want me to remove the site tagline with your quote, I’ll be happy to do so. Just let me know. Adding it really had nothing whatsoever to do with misogyny though - I added it because I [mostly] agree with the sentiment. I definitely enjoyed your hyperbolic turn of phrase. I also thought it would be a good fit with our other taglines. Did I also find it amusing? Yes, gotta admit, but a lot of our taglines get chosen because they are also funny in some way. In this case what was funny (to me) was the hyperbole, not the core message, and not the fact you are a woman. You can choose to believe that or not, of course, but I genuinely wasn’t coming from that place.
Having read through the original thread, I don’t think things went down quite as you have characterized it either. It looks like you accidentally replied to one of our users (@_cryptagion@anarchist.nexus) comments instead of replying to the OP. So that’s how you got into the conversation with him in the first place. Then, you got angry with him when he mentioned we had used one of your comments as a tagline, made a bunch of assumptions about the reason why, and then started misgendering him for some reason? The removed comment was “eat shit” btw.
Yes, remove it.
I already posted that link to thr full thread itt multiple times
I did not accidentally respond, I was piggybacking off his comment to bring up my bad experiences with a mod that others were talking about - I was agreeing with him that that mod is an issue. Therefore, the only thing in my comment that would have invoked a hostile response is the content of it that he DOESN’T agree with:
please fire the mod who is abusing their power to be sexist against women with opinions.
Out of nowhere HE chose to respond with telling me I am “infamous” due to a meme. Learn to read, it was open hostility. Just like he chose to do here in this thread because you tagged him and summoned him, bringing someone who harasses me here (thanks!). Stop giving men the generous interpretation and women the short stick automatically - that is misogyny. This is also why you are unqualified to discuss feminist topics as if you can determine what is and isn’t misogyny.
Last, no. It’s harassment or he wouldn’t say “infamous” about a post criticizing men and their inaction during fascist takeover (stop gaslighting). If he is going to treat women like shit and push the patriarchy, then it can be reflected back at him. You know immediately what wounds fascists by what they police and hate, and it’s fine to use that speech against them - so you can get them to agree that the patriarchy is bad and NO ONE should be enforcing gender roles on others. That’s the point.
I get that this is your attempt to save face though. It doesn’t work to gaslight women who know your stupid lies and tricks. I noticed the lack of apology for the impact of what you did regardless of intent.
Communists, but not Marxist-Leninists
Lol, wtf. Is this another case of seeking that fabled communism that sounds suspiciously like social democracy and is not consistent with any real world communist party’s platform?
No. It is because while I like Marx myself and have read Das Kapital, most online ML are:
- heavily involved in online 5th gen warfare and infiltrated with spies and bad faith actors that actively advocate for things that harm society and erode civil rights
- therefore the term ML and tankie tends to have been taken over by bad faith actors and it is hard to find real people in the noise
- sometimes authoritarian and not actually communist anyway
So while I may miss out on some cool people by excluding those spaces, if I look for OTHER leftist terms the 5th gen warfare slaves aren’t as aware of or into, then I can avoid them more and avoid their brainrot and concentrate on factual info and things that help me.
It’s also why I call myself an abolitionist first (when abolitionism and socialism/communism are the same thing), because there’s no way the current slave empires being grown will bring attention to their slavery by astroterfing THAT term. In fact, you can often get bots to abruptly block you or delete their comments (when normally they engage constantly on everything) by asking them if they are a slave. On Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Telegram, Tumblr, everywhere I’ve tried this line (“NPR says bots like ypu are slaves. Are you a slave? Do you need help?”) on people that I suspect are bots/slaves, I’ve gotten blocked and they deleted their comments. And I first learned bots are usually slaves in big slave networks from an NPR Planet Money episode.
You can easily identify the 5th gen warfare terms btw by seeing repeated phrases or stances and asking those people/bots the slave question - if they block and delete, it is digital warfare of some kind.
And as always, I can give sources, but only ask if you actually want to read them. Shit is effortful af, that’s part of why I’m leaving here for a place where people have a hopefully higher level of civil rights knowledge.
Oh and last, I include social democrats because they tend to be educated in how the government works and in organizing, and a lot of older people ended up and social democrats due to McCarthyism. They tend to still be a little rad and worth making community with even if I really don’t agree on everything. These are your local librarians and science teachers who are very amicable to discussion etc.
you should try just not not engaging in political discussions then. you seem to be very outgoing with it, which will attract people with opposing views leading you further down the defence route.
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stay away from political
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stay off social media
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deal with it and/or block them.
you’re literally asking for a safe haven from the world, on the world wide web…that won’t exist, or it’ll be an echo chamber.
also, stop insulting people constantly and perhaps they won’t insult/belittle you back… take the high road.
and because I truly don’t care, I’m blocking you to avoid further back and forth nonsense which I assume you’ll want to start/continue based on a LOT of your comments.
hope you find that small corner of only like minded people…
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
No thanks, silence does not benefit me, it benefits my oppressors.
Everything in life is political. A woman who can read and write is political. Being silenced is political. Seeking likeminded people is political. Perhaps you need MORE political education if you think you can step away from it or think that political advocacy is bad.
I’m not asking for “a safe haven from the world,” I am asking to be around people who understand concepts hashed out in the 70s like basic civil rights. Like the basics of feminism. Or, like the other day, why consent matters. That’s right, I had a convo on here about consent mattering. It wasn’t even my first conversation on Lemmy trying to explain the importance of consent. That’s not a thing feminists struggle with, that’s a thing patriachy (which makes rapists) struggles with.
It’s like saying “hey, I am with all these people who like math but addition only, and are forcing the world to be addition only, and I can do other types of math like matrices and vector calculus. I am tired of arguing with people about why 2+2+2 is equivalent to 2x3. I want to find other people who can do higher level math.” Except these people dont understand civil rights instead of math, which means they are being ABUSIVE AND SHITTY TO ME AND ADVOCATING FOR ME TO BE A SLAVE AS A WOMAN.
Probably the reason you blocked me is that you don’t see a problem with this. You think, like many enlightened centrists and men who refuse to learn basic feminism, that I am “just as bad” as the misogynists who are actively usurped my country and my rights. And you don’t want to respond to this. This is also why YOUR preferred solution is my silence, instead of trying to make Lemmy a better place or call in men you see who talk like this, or even help me with a basic request to avoid instances that are full of men like you.
Further, I only insult second when they open that door by insulting first- I am just better at it and meaner than them. Calling someone what they are - a misogynist, narcissist, fascist, etc isn’t an insult. It is what they are and why we came up with those words. Calling someone a small dicked weasel because I know as a misogynist they are bad in bed and insecure about their dick is weaponizing the patriarchy against them, is mirroring, and is a valid way to get shitty men to change their minds.
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no marxist lenninsts, no tankies
Lemmy’s devs are tankies. Why not pick an instance of piefed instead?
I definitely might
Beep.
Your alarm for your dick medicine went off
Nah. That’s just lemmy’s dipshit detector. Seems like you set it off somehow…
Oh, is your dick medicine not working?
Id go with blahaj based on your comment history.
When has dbzer0 been misogynist? /gen.
I don’t think we’ll get an answer here, but I’ll be happy to call out that shitheel who’s a raging sexist because they were born with different equipment. Sexism is awful shit.
See my other comment itt
I’ve scrolled through a few, and I’m not sure which one you’re talking about. Would you mind linking it?
Sure, here is a link the other user provided and a back and forth between me and them explaining:
https://lemmy.world/post/37124370/19881458
It does appear that that user (who is now itt) is now on the anarchist instance. Either way, piefed and/or solarpunk is likely where I’ll go to, plus I am joining a lot of independent website forums anyway.
I don’t understand the concern over which instance you are on. We’re all interacting with people on different instances, so what would even change?
If you are banned you loss all the communites you follow you have to start from zero
Because a lot of people and instances block World entirely
Very few do that.
Well, I was in a thread I enjoyed the other day with people I liked, and the majority of them said they block .world because the users are horrible. They were from a lot of different instances and I wasn’t sure which ones were good from just quickly looking, and I couldn’t ask them afaik because they have the entire instance blocked and the users from that instance (ie me), so I made this thread. So perhaps those who do it are just blissfully happy elsewhere and you aren’t aware of it.
Yeah people may choose as individuals to block it, but it’s not instance-level blocked by most instances - that’s what I mean.
Okay, then I misunderstood what people were saying, or perhaps they just meant they aren’t federate with it? But then I wouldnt have seen their comments? Not sure, probably missing something or just misunderstood
They mean that a lot of users might go into their settings to block lemmy.world for themselves.
As others have said, Solarpunk and Blahaj both seem like good options for you. You may want to consider their piefed instances, if that’s something you are interested in.
Thank you for your time, appreciate it
blahaj.zone ?
Going to be a tall ask, people are people…
I have no problem on small independent forums, when interacting with many other Lemmy instances, or in day to day life lol, it is 100% the culture here that is an issue
Sounds like you should run your own instance. We all have preferences about who we want to interact with, and we’re prepared to tolerate some things.
But for complete control, start and moderate your own instance. It would be an interesting experience, if nothing else.
I do not want control. You misunderstood.
